Lt Kije Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Sent to me by email, Dear Mr. Cameron, Please find below my suggestion for fixing England's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan: There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them ?1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations: 1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed 2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed 4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed 5) They MUST buy ?100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc 6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down. It can't get any easier than that! P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances Regards, A loyal taxpayer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inky pete Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Sent to me by email, Dear Mr. Cameron, Please find below my suggestion for fixing England's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan: There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them ?1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations: 1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed Are there 10 million fully qualified and experienced youngsters ready to replace them? Thought not. 2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed Please define "British Car". As far as I know there are no mass market "British" car makers. 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed Flood the market with buyers who have virtually unlimited budgets. That'll bring house prices within reach of first time buyers! 4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed Didn't watch the coverage of the tution fees riots, did you? 5) They MUST buy ?100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc .....or maybe just ?5K of it per year - at which rate they'll have to live til they're 250 before the money comes back! 6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down. Main polluters like the car makers you've just required to build 10 million more cars? Or maybe when they do shut down and move elsewhere then your unemployment problem has just unsolved itself! It can't get any easier than that! Doesn't look quite so easy now, does it? Oh, and the up front cost would be ?1 trillion, plus the considerable costs of administering it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P J Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Inky, go to the whoosh cupboard and help yourself to a whopper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Well I thought it was rather clever and funny until you complicated it Inky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter T Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Pull out of Europe and save a few quid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victor Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 It would help if he DID NOT give Pakistan the ?650 million that he has just announced, for schools and training !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter T Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 It would help if he DID NOT give Pakistan the ?650 million that he has just announced, for schools and training !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! India won't be best pleased as they only got ?250 million. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Rewind... 'who' has just given 'who' ?650 million for schools and training Bloody Hell (sorry for swearing) but considering how all our education funds and everyhing else is being cut I really hope you are both joking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazj Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 dIZZY.... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/pakistan/8430980/Britain-triples-aid-for-Pakistans-schools.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt Kije Posted April 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 As I said inky I received it by email. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter T Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 As I said inky I received it by email. From Clegg? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 or from Brussels?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Sent to me by email, Dear Mr. Cameron, Please find below my suggestion for fixing England's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. 1) Repeal the European Communities act 1972, saving around ?17 billion/yr, and lifting businesses from the wave of EU legislation, so they can employ more people, and expand. 2) repeal the climate change act 2008, which will cost ?734 billion in the next 40 years, also withdraw from the carbon trading scheme, which has caused the steelworks in Redcar to close down, making hundereds of workers (and more who reply on money from the workers) redundant. Regards, A loyal taxpayer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfie Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 There's more chance of the first lot of suggestions being taken up than this second lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt Kije Posted April 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 As I said I got it by email, sent as a joke I put it on here for discussion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asperity Posted April 9, 2011 Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 I was sent this by e mail as well, and it was always meant to be tongue in cheek. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt Kije Posted April 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 I know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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