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A Bit Of Hokey Kokey And A Kiss


Wingnut
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I don?t know who invented kissing or what the purpose of it was supposed to be, but they would have been better in keeping it to themselves, or simply have stuck to shaking hands, and patting each other on the back. Doing the hokey kokey around the kitchen table is a different matter all together though, as long as yer don?t trip over the hearth rug. Try as I might, I just can?t imagine a time honoured and cultured gentleman like Obs doing the hokey kokey around the kitchen table.

 

OldManObs_edited-1-1-1.jpg

OBS

 

Drunk or sober, I can only ever remember the first line of Ouild Langs Syne, then I revert to a muttering gibberish along with everybody else.

 

But what do you do as you see the clock approaching midnight tonight? Do you fein drunkenness and pass out on the floor to avoid being prickled half to death by that bewhiskered next door neighbour? Or do you pucker yer lips up in readiness and think, I?m avin some of that?

 

Now I?ve gone and given meself a sneezing fit in thinking about it, maybe that?s the answer, I?ll pretend I?ve got the flu. That should stop the wench?s from interfereing with me braces and stuff.

 

What are your contingency plans if any?

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:lol::lol: Can't think straight now... I'll reply later :lol::lol:

 

It's the picture of OBS that has got me in a right state of giggles... just how I imagined him to look although I had him with bigger ears :oops::lol::lol:

 

Can you draw some other people Wingy... keep me laughing all day will that and I'm in the mood for a hokey kokey already :lol::lol:

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Wingy, kissing goes back to homo sapiens earliest life form when food was offered by the male of the species to the female to create a bond between the two parties and depending upon acceptance by the female was the preliminary to mating and is still practiced amongst the animal world today and indeed may be seen regularily when observing the habits of birds. Over the milleniums the human male has modified his behaviour no longer offering the food by mouth to the female as it is thought to create too much mess and soils her finery causing her to reject her suitor plus it would take her too long to chew said morsels resulting in the male getting totally p----d off and search around for another suitable candidate who had less desire to enter into the ritual, this could possibly where the first male to male contact occured resulting in a small percentage of males developing into 'uphill gardeners'

NB. This early procedure was modified by the Eskimo race who modified the practice to the rubbing of noses, as the moisture created by kissing resulted in too many of the males and females becoming stuck together in the extreme low temperatures, also this removes any fustration of waiting for the female to consume the food offered when kissing and confirms the theory regarding the male having to search out any other source of satisfaction, lets face it who's ever heard of a homosexual Eskimo. :wink:

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Wingnut never grumbled about kissing outside Silcock's fair near the fire station, at the stroke of midnight.

 

Did you know that the first time Elizabeth Taylor kissed Richard Burton, she burped.

 

And remember to wish happy birthday to all the race-horses in Great Britain as the clock strikes midnight.

 

Happy days

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I can tell you summat else you didn't know.

 

It was in the time of the Neanderthols, when a certain self pleasure was invented by the males of the clan.

 

Ughhh was out and about looking for food. And he thought to himself, ooohhh, I've got some dirt on me private bits, I think I'll wash it off in this small puddle of water. So he sat down in the puddle and proceeded to wash the dirt away. The more he rubbed the dirt, the more he found that he liked it, so he told all of his friends about his new invention. And that is how the Cheshire Meres and Ackers Pit were formed.

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:shock::shock::shock:

that thought is almost enough to put me off me fish supper :P

 

my contingency plans for this year are simple. i have dose of this flu thingy that is going around so the chance of me seeing the new year in anything less than sober is slim. chances are it will be an early night with a hot cocoa and hotter water bottle :cry:

 

do you still follow the tradition of the conga line down the street wingnut.

 

i can remember it being the best part of the new year celebration winding in and out of all the houses in the street picking up extra people on the way(and the odd bit of silver wear) not to mention the odd dog two cats and one very surprised goat (don't know where that one came from to this day).

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With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

 

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Cokey" died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for the family was getting him into the coffin.

 

They put his left leg in..... and then the trouble started.

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It was just as I thought.

 

At last nights do, appart from the first line, nobody knew the rest of the words to Auld Lang Syne, not to worry though as it was filled in with laddy dadddy daaa. I skipped that bit as I put meself on barbeque duty outside in the yard as I can't be doing with all this soft sentimental stuff. The revellers came outside to see where I was, and I got mobbed by the wench's, they couldn't get enough of me. Kissin and touchin me all over the place as they had me spread eagled over the rabbit hutch. I nearly had to dial 999 and get the Samaritans in.

 

 

And then came the firework display, Oh Yes!

 

Chinese lanterns were going up from nearby gardens, which made a nice target for these big bang rockets which we had, but the rockets were falling short of their targets.

 

The last firework was called a Bad Boy 100 Shot. but we let it off too soon. The main rocket went off and sent a shower of explosions up in the sky. This was follwed by another rocket from the Bad Boy and even more multitudes of explosions and so on.

 

No sooner had the Bad Boy spent its self, then a crate load of Chinese lanterns went up from a nearby garden, I think there was 15 of them in total, and another twenty or more from other directions. If only we had waited a bit, I'm sure we could have taken the lot out in one go.

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