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Only Meeee


Wingnut
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How do I know that Christmas is just around the corner? Is it all the jingly ads that are comeing up on the t.v. screen? Or maybe I?ve seen one or two Christmas trees complete with flashing lights designed to give you a migraine. No, No, No, Wingy you might say, it was the breaking news that it was that Trecy Cohen wench who was going to switch the lights on in Golden Square.

 

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Naaaa, nowt like that, it?s decorating time in the Wingnut household that?s what it is. It?s the same every year, a last minuit rush to get it done in time for the big day. I?m an intelligent kind of lad, and it shows dunt it? So why do I fall for it every year? One minuit I?m in me shed minding me own business and happily cleaning me maggots and stuff, the next I?ve got me Mam shoving a paintbrush up me snout, and telling me to get down town and choose some wallpaper.

 

But I might get something you don?t like says I. Then yer?ll just have to take it back and try again then won?t yer lad says she. And don?t try any of yer gibberish talk on wi ?me, just do as yer told and ger on wi?it. Ooooh back to th?owld Lancashire speak now are we me precious says I. Yer don?t talk like that when yer gabbin to one o yer fancy men on t?phone do yer? Anyway, there?s no coco pops left and I?ve not had any breakfast yet. What yer doin fer me? I?ll doofer yer if you carry on with yer idle ways me lado says she.

 

A glance at me Mam over me left shoulder told me that I?d pushed me luck as far as I?d dared to for one morning, but the day was young. I?ll fettle the wench with her high faluting ideas about decorating before the day?s out, you just see if I don?t. There?s more important things on me mind. like going fishing. It turned out to be well worth me while making a slight detour of thirty miles to the lake. Grubby Pants was there, and he had a size ten barbed hook stuck in his finger.

 

Reet?o then me owld mucker says I. Yerve got two choices. What?s them? asks he. Well, says I. Yer can pack up and get ter th?ospital, or yer can let me yank it out for yer here and now. Will it hurt if you do it? Asks he. Naahhh, I promise you I won?t feel a thing says I.

 

Not quite grasping what I had said, Grubby says okay then, you yank it out for me. Okay then says I, you sit down on yer bait bucket, and I?ll just get me surgical instruments out. I had a mooch about in me tackle bag, and found a pair of pliers and an old piece of rag that must have been there for six months. Now then lad says I, yer going to have to bite down hard on this owld piece of rag. I?ll grasp the end o th?ook with me pliers, count to ten, and on ten, I?ll yank it out, so compose yer self and get ready fer it. Okay? Grubby gave a slight whimper in answer to my medical instructions.

 

I?m not sure if it was something that he had eaten or if it was the thought of me yanking the hook out of his finger that gave him a sudden bout of chronic flatulence. It was a shame that the bait bucket that he was sat on was half full of bait, because it spoiled the acoustics of his wind instrument as the rumblings rattled around inside the bucket. If the bucket had been empty and with a bit of practice I swear he could have done justice to the Trumpet Voluntary or the 1812 Overture.

 

I straddled me self across Grumpys legs, and locked his arm under my arm with me back towards him. Are yer ready fer this? asks I. Yeah go on, start counting says Grubby. I heard a short intake of breath as he composed himself. So I started to count. 1??..2??.and on three just like the story teller that I am, I gave the hook a massive yank. I heard the hook pull out of him as the barb on it plinked its way out of his finger. Oooooooyarrrggghhhh, YER ?**%77??4%> BAD # % & ~@$ or words to that effect he screamed at the top of his voice, I knew yer?d do summat like that.

 

I need a smoke and a brew after that, put the kettle on and giz a smoke will you, he said. Yer what? says I. Yerve just watched me save yer from a severe case of blood poisoning and already yer after robbing me backy tin yer gypsy cock. Here, whiz a fiver out of me wallet while year at it why don?t yer?

 

And summat else says he. What was on that rag that you made me bite down on? It was fair making me gag to catch me breath. Oh that says I, That?s just an owld rag I keep in me bag for wiping me hands on after I?ve been handling any slimey Tench, or eels that I catch. Didn?t yer know that the slime off a Tench has great healing properties Yer wazzock? That?s why they call it the Doctor fish. On me finger yeah, but not in me gob says he. Try sucking yer finger then says I. Yer don?t know how lucky you are having a mate like me on tap with all the surgical knowledge that I have.

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Ta very much Peter and Co. I really do appreciate your comments. I enjoy writing them, and you enjoy reading them. that's fair dinkum in my book. :D

 

Sid , how did you know I had been saveing my drawings in a folder called Young Wingnut? :D:wink:

 

Algy.

I couldn't find a way of text wrapping the picture, but I remembered your thread (Rare Bird Spotted) and how you set your story out. Yer'll doofer me lad. :wink:

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:lol::lol::lol: Wingy.... how many times do I have to telly you 'write a book god damn it'.... even Algy said it :D:wink:

 

What an great start to the day, really made me giggle ... can you stick a tale on late every night so when I log on in the morning I'm put in a good mood :lol::lol::wink:

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Yes, write it on your computer and save it regularly. That way you can keep plugging away at it whenever you like. You can also move bits of it around.

On the first page, use it as index, so that any stories that spring to mind, but you want to do later, you will have the sub-title written down for reference.

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Peter, that's a brilliant idea. The times I have thought of something and meant to write it down, I've lost count of. And things I have written about in the past, where I have rememberd something that could have been added to it. Simples, but a very usefull tip. I'll start to sort that one out first thing later this morning.

 

Dizzy, I have been useing one of those little "dongle? things for storing things on. Are they just as good?

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Wingy, I started writing my life story about 12 months ago, not for publication, it would be too boring, but to leave for my immediate family and future descendants as I have researched my family history back to the mid 17th century and the part I found lacking was that all you have got at the end is basic details you never find out what their life was like, as Peter & Dizzy have suggested use the computer with all it's accessories at you disposal to ensure that you don't lose anything, now crack on with that writing from what I haveseen of your life up to now the result should be a 'hoot' and don't forget the carping tales. :wink:

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On that index page, you could have sub-sections such as:

Me mam,

Fishing,

Growing up etc

even history (old places no longer there.)

As for saving it, i know nothing about dongles. But there are several options to back up your material.

As Dizzy says, there is

external drive.

CD or DVD If your PC has DVD.

Sticks of varying sizes.

Probably better getting something specifically for the book, rather than mixing it with other stuff.

With an external drive, you could add pictures as the memory is greater.

 

Have a wander around Staples. They have the lot on display and are very helpful.

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Dizzy, I have been useing one of those little "dongle? things for storing things on. Are they just as good?

 

 

They are good but personally I only use them for files I need to use on different computers ie home/work and the MASTER one is always saved to the internal 'H' Drive on my pc and also an external hard drive (when I remember to back up my pc :oops: ).

 

My pc is set up different so that if windows xp or anything ever throws a wobbler and needs re-installing all my documents are safe(ish).

 

I'm sure dongles are just as good and if I was using them for backups I'd have two just incase I lost or broke one of them... a habit of mine :lol:

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Good suggestions again there Peter. I will put them to good use. I just set a new folder up and saved what I have already done to it. A Dongle is a small obolong type clip that plugs into the computer, it's only about 30mm x 15mm in size and has greater storage space than a disk. I still think I'll have a look at an external drive as you suggest though, they sound good.

 

Algy.

 

You said; and don't forget the Carp stories. Those two words "Carp storys" have triggered off a number of tales that I had forgotten about. and they happened on the Bridgy, around the Grapenhall bridge area. :wink:

 

And that's how it goes for me. Somebody on the forum will be talking about something, they mention one type of word or subject, and I bounce off them into a world of me own. A right old Pandoras box of goodies is opening up inside me head. :D

 

Thanks Dizzy, I think an external drive as an extra is the way forward. I'll give you a mention in the Acknowledgements. :D

 

And I still haven't forgotten Marys, Bills, Sids, or Asperitys first words of encouragement. People from this forum are helping me out more than they will ever realise. Many Many thanks to all of you. MMMwhhaaaa xxx. :D

 

I suppose I'll have to start calling people Luvvy from now on then. :wink:

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I did the same as Peter and purchased a 250 gig external hard drive and would never do without as my desktop went t**s up but thank god I managed to save everything by copying to the external hd plus it's great for saving all my photos etc and just use my lap top for basic stuff.

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if you use word to write out the text you can then paste it into a booklet in publisher and add pictures or clip art in the appropriate place. you can then print it out and produce your own booklet.

 

i use that method to produce my books of poems. the largest one is book three that takes up 1.1 Mb.

 

i keep them both on my hard drive and on a memory stick. i use the hard drive version for editing and then back it up onto the memory stick after ten minutes just to make sure.

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