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Roadside memorials?


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Having once driven up and down Mount Teide in Teneriffe and seen the hundreds and hundreds of these things; burning flames and all!, that litter the sides of the road (no suprise was there were no real crash barriers and a few hundred feet of drop over the edge!); I have seen an extreme case of these things.

 

Personally I don't like them as they usually end up as a bunch of dead Asda flowers cable tied to a railing somewhere

 

There are a few mad examples which are totally over the top, one of which is on the main road out of Liverpool just before the start of the motorway. A few years ago, a lad was killed on the dual carriageway and ever since there has been a huge shrine strung up between trees on the left side as you pass the spot.

 

All totally over the top and totally unecessary as these things now seem to be the norm instead of an individual sign of grief. It isn't just road accidents though; you take the scene of any murder or accident these days and you will find the local flower shops doing a roaring trade

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I don't see how you can enforce a ban like that without causing offence and upset to the bereaved. Lining themselves up for trouble there.

 

Shrines aren't my cup of tea at all either, but I would have gone for a policy of asking the family to collect and take all tributes to the funeral. That would give people an appropriate time to place flowers if it helped them feel better, but also give a respectful ending and clearance. Anything still in place a week after the funeral could then be taken down and respectfully delivered to the family.

 

I assume that in banning tributes for the fallen, they are not actually including poppies in November?

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Poppies are placed in a location which IS a legalised shrine to the dead, the railings on the side of a dual carrieway is not!

 

I agree with your "post them the flowers afterwards" kind of idea though because that would give them the encouragement to take it all to the crem or grave.

 

I do think though that if I was unlucky enough to snuff it like that, there would be balloons and party poppers rather than flowers!

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Poppies are placed in a location which IS a legalised shrine to the dead, the railings on the side of a dual carrieway is not!

 

I was thinking of the pub in Alty that lays wreaths on the pavement every year. I can't remember the precise story but it's something to do with a lot of lads who lived on that street and went to war, I think. It's not a memorial site or anything, just the side of the pub. It would be awful if that was banned, cos it's actually quite moving.

 

"Balloons and party poppers"? :shock: Only in the sense that we were paying tribute to a legendary party animal, surely? :lol:

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Think we need to examine the psycology of this primitive reaction: what's all this teddy bear buisiness about for example? The kid's dead, so can't use the teddy bear - it'll just finish up being binned. Sane folk nowadays, tend to request donations to such things as MacMillan Nurses etc, rather than wasting money on funeral flowers - which go in the bin within days. :roll:

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Obs, if you follow that logic, a dead person has no use for a headstone, a coffin or even a grave. Funerals and tributes are for the living, not the dead. For comfort or as a show of respect. If flowers or teddies help people feel better, where's the harm in tolerating it for a little while? It's not my way at all, but I don't need to understand or agree with it to be able to respect someone else's feelings.

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Think we need to examine the psycology of this primitive reaction: what's all this teddy bear buisiness about for example? The kid's dead, so can't use the teddy bear - . it'll just finish up being binned. Sane folk nowadays, tend to request donations to such things as MacMillan Nurses etc, rather than wasting money on funeral flowers - which go in the bin within days. :roll:

 

You are right Obs .... the psycology of YOUR primitive reaction does need examining :evil::roll:

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You've still not answered the question - how do the teddy bears help anyone - living or dead - it's surreal. Proves, despite all our technological advances - we havn't really moved more than one step beyond the cave. :roll:

 

There is comfort in knowing that the person you've lost was respected and cared for by others. There's comfort in knowing that people think enough of you to pay their respects, be that sympathy cards or flowers or teddy bears. It's not surreal, it's normal and natural to want to offer comfort to someone who is grieving - and to appreciate it when it's offered.

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You've still not answered the question - how do the teddy bears help anyone - living or dead - it's surreal. Proves, despite all our technological advances - we havn't really moved more than one step beyond the cave. :roll:

 

There is comfort in knowing that the person you've lost was respected and cared for by others. There's comfort in knowing that people think enough of you to pay their respects, be that sympathy cards or flowers or teddy bears. It's not surreal, it's normal and natural to want to offer comfort to someone who is grieving - and to appreciate it when it's offered.

 

IF people did that to me, I would come back and haunt them. I want Elvis' I did it my way at the Crem. and then a big party afterwards.

And donations, not flowers.

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