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Quick opinions please


harry hayes
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Our 50 th wedding anniversary. Hope to read out the following as part of my speech (and distribute copies later).

I appreciate there is an argument for the last two verses being transposed. As it is, it suits my character, but I may well be wrong.

A female view in particular, would be appreciated.

 

Partners

 

Fifty years we've been together,

Not too many more remain;

Should nature but allow it,

I'd love to start again.

 

We've had some laughs together,

The odd tear along the way;

You've shared with me each season,

And eased my doubts away.

 

So many times I've looked to you,

And sought your best advice;

"Your face is like your passport,

Try smiling once or twice".

 

Our hair looks very grey now-

They're the ones that don,t fall out;

Wrinkles where the smiles were,

The price of lfe, no doubt.

 

Why did three little words,

Become so difficult to say?

Hear now, dear wife,"I love you"

In print - as from today.

 

God's finger will shortly touch me,

A call I can't delay;

Please madamme , your secret,

What happened to "obey?"

 

 

....... Harry Hayes, 6.2009.

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Ooooh I suppose it depends on whether your wife has a sense of humour and understands you :shock::lol:

 

Personally I think it's very good indeed and (although if it was addressed to me I think I'd thump you very hard after I'd stopped laughing and then I'd give you a big hug :lol: )

 

The first and second verse brought a bit of a tear to my eye especially the bits about 'not many more years remaining' :cry: and 'I'd love to start again'.

 

The third verse quicly snapped me out of it with the shock of what you put :lol:

 

Fourth and fifth verse lovely again :D

 

Sixth verse sad again in part until I read the last sentence :shock: : :lol::D

 

I think it's great and very nicely balanced but then again I am not your wife :lol::wink::shock:

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  • 1 month later...

Very good Harry but I think that the last verse is a bit sad to leave behind as it is grim reaper or not around the corner!!

 

I'm only coming up to my 25th at the end of the month so I've only half your experience. And it is true that us men do foget those three little words.

 

Well done to you both, she certainly does know you inside out by now and will appreciate your words but what about combining the last two verses?

 

Why did three little words,

Become so difficult to say?

Hear now, dear wife,"I love you"

And of course will always "obey"

 

Good Luck...

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