Lt Kije Posted November 4, 2012 Report Share Posted November 4, 2012 “Fifty Shades of Grey Hair” The missus bought a Paperback In the market last Saturday, I had a look inside her bag; T’was “fifty shades of grey”. Well I just left her to it, At ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread….. In her left hand was a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down onto the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago; I would have had a peek; But Doris hasn’t weathered well; She’s eighty four next week. Watching Doris bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. But then things went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back onto her feet; A couple of minutes later; Then put her teeth back in and said… It's time to dominate her!! Now if you knew our Doris, You’d see just why I spluttered, "I spent two months in traction When last I ailed", I muttered. She stood quite bare and naked, Bent forward just a bit …. I shrugged and then stepped forward, and stood on her left tit! Doris screamed, her teeth shot out; My god what had I done!? She moaned and groaned then shouted out: “Step on the other one”!! Well readers, I can say no more; About that dreadful day. Suffice to say my jet black hair,…. Turned “fifty shades of Grey”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 “Fifty Shades of Grey Hair” Well readers, I can say no more; About that dreadful day. Suffice to say my jet black hair,…. Turned “fifty shades of Grey”. Probably get censored Lt, but still very talented and funny!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt Kije Posted November 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Sadly Algy I did not write it, another paste from my emails. Have you read Fifty Shades of grey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Nope, he's only got upto 41 shades yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Sadly Algy I did not write it, another paste from my emails. Have you read Fifty Shades of grey Right!, now I've got it "another paste from your emails" you mean, you cut and pasted from emails that were sent to you, if you remember I got a bit stroppy the last time you said that as I thought you were accusing me of doing it, sorry mate, I get a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. :oops: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Don't worry Alge, me ould strop, it's just your age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Don't worry Alge, me ould strop, it's just your age. Who said that?, where am I?, who am I?. I found a paint colour chart and there's only 22, ash, ashen, cinereal, clouded, dappled, dingy, dove, drab, dusky, dusty, grey, heather, iron, lead, leaden, livid, mousy, neutral, oyster, pearly, peppery and battleship grey. In actual fact the amount of shades is infinitesimal as it depends on how you mix black and white. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Probably get censored Lt, but still very talented and funny!! :lol: Crikey Algy until you posted about it getting 'censored' I had no idea what the book 20 SoG was about. I wish I'd not googled and youtubed now as I'm blushing Good one Lt K 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hum.... Sounds interesting. You Tube here I come! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hum.... Sounds interesting. You Tube here I come! Sweet dreams Florence!!! :grin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Make sure your other half isn't keeping tabs on your internet use Cleo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 OK so who gave me a -red for my other post. Not my fault I don't read books or take notice of the latest offers on supermarkets book shelves. Own up and explain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asperity Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 Not guilty yer honner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted November 5, 2012 Report Share Posted November 5, 2012 You were a little to quick with your defence there though Aps... mmmm I wonder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 Crikey Algy until you posted about it getting 'censored' I had no idea what the book 20 SoG was about. I wish I'd not googled and youtubed now as I'm blushing Good one Lt K So utterly disgusting, I was flabbergasted. In fact never has my gast been so flabbered! I stopped watching afer five seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Sid Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 Then took it off pause and watched the rest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt Kije Posted November 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted November 6, 2012 Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 I nearly killed Mohamed at lunch time. We sat on the balcony eating (it's still nice weather to do so even now) and, feeling somewhat mischeivous I asked if he had ever fancied spanking my teez and he spluttered and choked on a mouthful of food. I had to slap his back! "Bloody hell!" he expleted, "where did that one come from?" So I told him about the film. "Don't you ever watch any more of that filth!" he shouted at me then stormed off inside. I was laughing to myself as I watched him pacing about out of the corner of my eye, muttering to himself. He came back a few minutes later and said, "I'm sorry my queen but really you should not be watching that kind of filth." "Silly bugger," I said, "I didn't really watch it, I stopped as soon as I saw what it was." "Why do I love you so much?" he asked. The rest is private. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt Kije Posted November 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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