asperity Posted May 7, 2020 Report Share Posted May 7, 2020 Indian takeaway - £20. Cost of delivery - £2 Opening it to find out they’ve forgotten part of your order? Riceless. What should you do if you're addicted to seaweed? Sea kelp. What do you call a man with no shins? Tony. What do we want? Acronyms! When do we want them? ASAP! Prison chaplain: And why are you here, my son? Prisoner: Because they've got the doors locked. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted May 7, 2020 Report Share Posted May 7, 2020 Very good ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asperity Posted May 8, 2020 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2020 A man had three parrots. One up high, one in the middle and one at the bottom.. which one did he own? The bottom one, because the other two were on higher perches China have just released a new meat free food range... it’s called Not Poodle I have a friend who is a pilot for Virgin Atlantic but, because of this lockdown, he's off work, l asked him if he fancied doing a bit of decorating for me while he's at a loose end and he jumped at the chance. l must say, he made a lovely job of the landing. Congratulations to Hugh Zappritti Boyden, on his new role as chairman of the British Budgerigar Association. Just seen a burglar kicking in his own door. I asked, "what are you doing ?" He replied, "I'm working from home." To anyone suffering from paranoia. You're not alone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Sid Posted May 9, 2020 Report Share Posted May 9, 2020 found this on faceache and had to pinch it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Latchford Locks Posted August 23, 2020 Report Share Posted August 23, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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