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Lt Kije

Fifty shades of Grey Hair

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“Fifty Shades of Grey Hair”

 

The missus bought a Paperback

In the market last Saturday,

I had a look inside her bag;

T’was “fifty shades of grey”.

 

Well I just left her to it,

At ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread…..

 

In her left hand was a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down onto the floor,

And then began to strip.

 

Well fifty years or so ago;

I would have had a peek;

But Doris hasn’t weathered well;

She’s eighty four next week.

 

Watching Doris bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

But then things went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

 

She struggled back onto her feet;

A couple of minutes later;

Then put her teeth back in and said…

It's time to dominate her!!

 

Now if you knew our Doris,

You’d see just why I spluttered,

"I spent two months in traction

When last I ailed", I muttered.

 

She stood quite bare and naked,

Bent forward just a bit ….

I shrugged and then stepped forward,

and stood on her left tit!

 

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

“Step on the other one”!!

 

Well readers, I can say no more;

About that dreadful day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,….

Turned “fifty shades of Grey”.

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“Fifty Shades of Grey Hair”

 

Well readers, I can say no more;

About that dreadful day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,….

Turned “fifty shades of Grey”.

 

Probably get censored Lt, but still very talented and funny!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Sadly Algy I did not write it, another paste from my emails.

 

Have you read Fifty Shades of grey :wink:

Right!, now I've got it "another paste from your emails" you mean, you cut and pasted from emails that were sent to you, if you remember I got a bit stroppy the last time you said that as I thought you were accusing me of doing it, sorry mate, I get a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. :oops: :oops:

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Don't worry Alge, me ould strop, it's just your age. :wink:

Who said that?, where am I?, who am I?. :unsure:

 

I found a paint colour chart and there's only 22, ash, ashen, cinereal, clouded, dappled, dingy, dove, drab, dusky, dusty, grey, heather, iron, lead, leaden, livid, mousy, neutral, oyster, pearly, peppery and battleship grey. In actual fact the amount of shades is infinitesimal as it depends on how you mix black and white.:blink:

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Probably get censored Lt, but still very talented and funny!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Crikey Algy until you posted about it getting 'censored' I had no idea what the book 20 SoG was about.

 

I wish I'd not googled and youtubed now as I'm blushing :shock::oops::lol:

 

Good one Lt K :lol::lol:

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OK so who gave me a -red for my other post.

 

Not my fault I don't read books or take notice of the latest offers on supermarkets book shelves.

 

Own up and explain :roll::P

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Not guilty yer honner :shock:

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Crikey Algy until you posted about it getting 'censored' I had no idea what the book 20 SoG was about.

 

I wish I'd not googled and youtubed now as I'm blushing :shock::oops::lol:

 

Good one Lt K :lol::lol:

 

:shock: So utterly disgusting, I was flabbergasted. In fact never has my gast been so flabbered! I stopped watching afer five seconds. :blink:

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I nearly killed Mohamed at lunch time. We sat on the balcony eating (it's still nice weather to do so even now) and, feeling somewhat mischeivous I asked if he had ever fancied spanking my teez and he spluttered and choked on a mouthful of food. I had to slap his back! "Bloody hell!" he expleted, "where did that one come from?" So I told him about the film. "Don't you ever watch any more of that filth!" he shouted at me then stormed off inside. I was laughing to myself as I watched him pacing about out of the corner of my eye, muttering to himself. He came back a few minutes later and said, "I'm sorry my queen but really you should not be watching that kind of filth."

"Silly bugger," I said, "I didn't really watch it, I stopped as soon as I saw what it was."

"Why do I love you so much?" he asked. The rest is private. :lol::lol::lol:

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