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Letter To Santa From Little Johnny


Cleopatra
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Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I’m writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football kit. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I’m not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighbourhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbours. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.

How the hell can you just leave me with a yoyo, a lame whistle and a pair of ugly socks. What were you thinking, will I be very happy to see those bullshit gifts of yours? Don’t let me see you trying to climb down my chimney next year. I’ll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you’ll have to walk back to the North Poll, just like what I have to do now since you didn’t get me that bike. Next year you’ll find out how bad I can be, you fat old man.

Sincerely,

Little Johnny

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