Come Dine With Me

[Wingnut]

I have some visitors dropping in. I want to make sure they get hooked on the food I am going to prepare for them. Something irresistible, something really tasty that will ensure they will keep comeing back for more.

 

STARTERS.

 

A good fish meal base mix and around 20 mil of Octopus Squid and Liver concentrated flavouring.

 

PREPERATION.

 

Mix ingedients and roll into 14 mil sized balls. Put in a pan of boiling water for two minuits if you want a soft to medium textured snack. Leave in the boiling water for three minuits or slightly longer for a harder textured snack.

 

MAIN MEAL.

 

Bacon rind, with a liberal sprinkling of ox blood.

 

PREPERATION

 

Double the rind over and Serve uncooked

 

PUDDING.

 

Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered peanuts. Or melted chocolate with a splash of vanilla.

 

TABLEWARE.

 

1 Little Nipper mouse trap.

 

PREPERATION.

 

Remove the half inch metal spike from the end of the trap. Drill wood and replace metal spike with plastic bristle from a yard brush. The bristle is square in section unlike the metal spike which is round, which allows the snack to pull off too easily. Push bait onto the bristle, do not push bristle all the way through the bait. Only push it about two thirds of the way through. The bristle then forms a vacume inside the bait and is harder to pull off.

 

File the end of the long metal bar which sets the spring, into a flat shape. It is more sensitive that a round shape, and mind yer own fingers.

 

Tape a piece of paper to the shed door so you can chart your progress.

 

SCORE ON THE DOOR SO FAR:

 

Wingnut........6

 

Visitors..........0

 

MOST POPULAR SNACK.... chocolate coverd raisins.

[Dizzy]

As responsible parents should we be worried

 

Are children safe with you Wingy or is it just little four legged squeaky things you are referring too.... my phone may be switched off tomorrow

 

If it's squeaky things YOU ARE SOOO CRUEL !!! ......try a bucket with cereal in with a plank of wood.... they go up fall in... munch away but can't get out... so you can go awwww aren't they cute then let them go.... more than 2 miles away of course or they will come back again

 

They like peanut butter too

 

Kids however... prefer coke, McDonnalds or Itunes vouchers

[Wingnut]

I'd be a right sucker for a bit of Mars bar.

 

Maybe I should put a sign on me shed door: Trespassers will be Exterminated. To be fair, should I highlight the mesage and do it in block capitals. then there's no excuse is there?

[Wingnut]

It may seem like I have gone to extreme or eccentric measures to rid my shed of mice. But I don't want them in my house, and that would be their next move now that Winter has arrived.

 

Something else that can be done, is to try a device called "Mouse Away". Availiable from DIY stores, it is a sonic device which is only audible to mice. it plugs into a wall socket and works like one of these air fresheners. They cost around ?30 - ?40, some people swear by them, others say they don't work. If my traps stopped working, I wouldn't hesitate in trying one of these out. I would try Anything to get rid of the horrible smelly little vermin that they are.

 

A device for detecting mice, although the smell of a mouse is enough to let you know that they are about, is something like the crime forencic boys use. It is a kind of torch/lamp. You direct the beam of light along the edges of cupboards or skirting boards. Mice usually run along the perimeter of walls where they can.

 

The mice are constantly dribbling (urinating) as they move about. And this is what you can smell when you walk into a shed or house where they have been. The beam from the torch/lamp picks up on the urine, and gives you a good indication as to where they are nesting. And remember, if you see a mouse, then it's a racing cetainty that you have a colony of them.

 

UPDATE:

 

Wingnut....7

 

Visitors.....0

[Peter T]

You'll be able to make some mittens soon.

[Wingnut]

Just been to the Cockhedge Centre. The plug in electronic devices are from ?19.99.

Cop for this then you dirty rat.

[Evil Sid]

which one did you get then. the ultra sonic one or the one that does ultrasonic and uses the mains to send a signal through your wiring as well

[Dizzy]

My brothers got both and still gets mice in his garage... he must have all the deaf ones.

 

PS Wingy he lives near you so maybe you are getting all the other mice with good hearing so it will work for you

[Wingnut]

I haven't tryed any yet Sid. I think I've nailed them all. I might still get one though.

 

Sorry Dizz, but the thought of any baby mice that are left in the nest crying, where's me mummy? I want me mummy is upsetting me, with it being near Christmas and all.

 

Hmmmm, there's a story there somewhere.

[Dizzy]

Awwww Wingy... you've made me sad now... and just before bedtime too

 

If you find any little orphans I'll take them under my wing and foster them until they are strong enough to fend for themselves

[Wingnut]

I suppose if I did find any baby mice, the best thing I could do, would be to put them out of their misery. Then I could cover them in melted chocolate and hang them from the Christmas Tree.

[Evil Sid]

remind me to steer clear of the chocolates on your tree then

[Dizzy]

Wingy I don't know wether to laugh or cry at that last comment

 

Although I was/am rather fond of those little white chocolate mice that you used to be able to buy in the sweety shops

[Wingnut]

I was eating one of those Oven Bottom balms last night. The texture of the crust is very soft and smooth. All I could think of was dead mice every time I bit into one. I gave it to me dog in the end. I just couldn't eat it.

[Dizzy]

Did you know that more brutal mouse traps when used incorrectly by a small inquisitive mouse can result in it losing a limb and being catapulted hard against a wall.... leaves a nasty splat mark apparently which takes a while to remove

 

I wish I hadn't been told that as my immagination is going into overdrive and I keep seeing the 'image'

[Wingnut]

You can't beat a good hard clout across the napper.

[Dizzy]

There's another topic for your book wingy... napper clouting The mind boggles though... what's a napper

 

Ooooop... this thread is about cute poor little defenceless mice, not the 'other' topic.

[Wingnut]

A napper is yer head. You have a nap (sleep) with it.

 

Haven't you never heard of that saying; yer want yer napper seeing to. I have.