Lt Kije Posted March 27, 2013 Report Share Posted March 27, 2013 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female: Any part under a car's bonnet. Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) ad. Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male: Playing cricket without a box. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shun) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lents) n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of indigestion. Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding. 7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (re-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through 375 channels every 5 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted March 28, 2013 Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 Think perhaps No 8 should be the other way round?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Tessla Posted March 28, 2013 Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 Re commitment - the difference between that and mere involvement, look at a plate of bacon and eggs The hen is involved - the pig is committed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Sid Posted March 28, 2013 Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 I thought innuendo was a spanish proctologist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfie Posted March 28, 2013 Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 Or an Italian suppository Talking of double meanings, Make sure the next time you buy a condom and it states "Insert 2 pounds and push in knob" that you don't end up in Casualty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbo Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 Make sure the next time you buy a condom and it states "Insert 2 pounds and push in knob" that you don't end up in Casualty. Wolfie, you're crazy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Tessla Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 Saw a headline on teletext that said "Top Officer rapped over Hillsborough" and imagined a senior police officer emulating Eminem "My name is...my name is ...my name is the old bill" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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