algy Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 A poem about T'internet Dating. Not exactly Wordsworth or Keats!. A Poem by Steve Morris Of Howling Dog Fame. A Sweet Romance "Sex is God's joke on human beings"Bette Davis How's this for speedy contact?Just seen your ad in LootIt doesn't matter to me one bitThat you're balder than a cootI find bald men quite cuddlyI was Kojak's biggest fanPlease tell me more about yourselfKind regards, JoanneDear fulfilment searcherOr may I call you Clint?It doesn't matter, not one jotYou've got that dreadful squintWe each have inner beautyDeep within the soulAnd each of us is a child of GodPure and sweet and wholeDear Clint, just got your e-mailYes, it could be nice to meetBut I'm busy for at least a monthSo let’s just keep it sweetI'm impressed with all your poetryWhere did you learn those rhymes?The rude one made me laugh out loudI've read it sixteen timesDear Clint, you are so wickedYour questions, they're so bluntNo, I've never had black underwearThat's see-through at the frontAnd I've never posed for PolaroidsI'm not that way inclinedWhen a lady reaches my age, wellShe leaves those thoughts behindDear Clint, let's change the subjectGive the naughty stuff a restI'm too old for titillationAnd those games that you suggestI'm searching for a soulmateFor a life-long cosmic tripI've no desire for sexy funWith a Rowntree's Walnut WhipDear Clint, you did, you promisedI'll remind you one last timeWe agreed to talk of finer thingsLike music, food and wineI don't think we're compatibleWe have such differing livesI was brought up Sunday TelegraphAnd you're just Readers’ WivesClint, I've stopped the e-mailAnd I've notified the policeHow dare you send me downloadsFrom a porno site in GreeceWhy was I so misguided?You're not a child of GodYou're a cross-eyed, pervy slap-head, ClintA disgusting little sodDear Clint, I've missed your lettersThey were best when shocking blueI want to correspond againAnd I hope that you do tooI haven't found that soulmateIt's not much fun on the shelfSo I'm up for a laugh and a roll in the sackWith a randy old dog like yourselfDarling Clint, it's fine for SundayWe can meet by the Town Hall ClockI've got the keys to a colleague's flatShe's spending the week in BangkokI'll be wearing those undies you sent meThe ones with the quick-release clipSo come all prepared with the cherry blancmangeAnd I'll bring the Walnut Whip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harry hayes Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Disgusting but quite amusing... Poetry is a wide church, to which all are welcome. Happy days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Amen to that Harry. Good one Alge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.