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not so much a poem as a song


Evil Sid
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The White Van Man

 

I am a white van man

I drive just as fast as I can

I drive every day

Just stay out of my way

Don?t honk unless you are a fan

 

I drive come rain or shine

And if I get a fine

I?ll say to the boss

?I don?t give a care?

because the van aint mine

 

oh you can touch me cause I drive a white van

you can touch me cause I drive a white van

you can touch me cause I drive a white van

all the day and night

all the day and night

 

when I am out and about

I smile when I pull out

folks are really irate

cause I don?t indicate

I just wave and laugh as they shout

 

I am the white van man

And I?m proud of what I am

Please be aware

That I?ll park anywhere

I?m the man with the right arm tan

 

oh you can touch me cause I drive a white van

you can touch me cause I drive a white van

you can touch me cause I drive a white van

I?m always in the right

Cause I drive a van that?s white

 

When I drive around the town

I give them cause to frown

With my sound system on

Tuned to radio one

At full volume never turned down

 

Up and down the motorway

Each and every day

A van man I was born

With one hand on the horn

As that?s the white van way

 

oh you can touch me cause I drive a white van

you can touch me cause I drive a white van

you can touch me cause I drive a white van

all the day and night

all the day and night

beep beep

 

somebody asked for a poem but this was all i had that you have not yet seen

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  • 2 months later...

Hey, I just now appreciated the 'right arm tan' line. It's because you drive on the right side of the road, so hence, you put your right arm out to signal. I have a very tan left arm.

 

I don't think there are more than one or two milk delivery vans serving residential neighborhoods in California. We had one ten years ago when I lived on Mountaingate. He thought he was the last one serving.

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white vans here carry all sorts of goods and materials. it is just that the drivers have a bad reputation when it comes to their driving habits.

stopping at the side of the road and putting on hazard warning lights so they can make a delivery, often without taking heed of traffic behind them. pulling out of junctions when turning right in such a way that traffic has to stop to let them out or risk losing their front end. the list is endless really, any bad driving habit that is seen on the road is said to be practised by the men who drive white vans.

 

as for the right arm tan it is because in summer many tend to drive with their right arm resting on the open window of the drivers side door. as a note it not just white vans that have this reputation, it is just as most vans tend to be owned either by companies or on hire to them they tend to be standard white. (like ford cars were only made in black originally)

 

as for milk deliveries i am not sure if there are still any in warrington (some poster will probably prove me wrong on that). they used to be common place but with the advent of long life milk and larger quantities available from supermarkets they seem to have died out.

 

finally got the book and started reading it last night, only got through one chapter but seems like i know the chap involved already and can relate to many of his experiences, looking forward to reading more tonight.(have the habit of reading for an hour before i go to sleep which usually means one or two chapters depending on length)

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According to the Telegraph of June 15, 2009:

 

Labour's new target was described to me by one Cabinet minister as "White Van Man" ? and he votes BNP.

**************************************

I had no idea there was an entire segment of the population of independent white van men with loud radios and engaged in delivery of materials.

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