The Defective Parrot.

[algy 379]

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way.
I'm a defective parrot.'
'Holy crap,' the guy replies.
'You actually understood and answered me. !'
'I got every word,' says the parrot.
'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'
'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.
'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked,
I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
You can't see it, because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy.

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence
on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'
The guy looks at the £200 price tag.

'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is,
nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.
You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer.!'

The guy offers £20, and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by.
The parrot is sensational.

He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal,
he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.

The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,'
and motions him over with one wing.
I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the post man.'

'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.

'When the post man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door,
in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the post man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie,
and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'
'Yes.

Then he continued taking off the nightie, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch.!'

[wolfie 299]

I've just fallen off mine too

[Dizzy 402]

Bit too much info there Wolfie  

 

Good one Algy and had me giggling again.      It's a cracker and I'm looking forward to LT K reading it too    

[wolfie 299]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

[Lt Kije 99]

Nearly as good second time around

[algy 379]

Where the heck is Cleo, I would have thought this one was right up her street!,

[Dizzy 402]

Maybe she read it first time round when Lt posted it     

 

Hasn't she been on today then as that's not like her. 

[wolfie 299]

Cleo who?

[algy 379]

Cleo, Florence, Queenie etc. :lol:

[Cleopatra 93]

Where the heck is Cleo, I would have thought this one was right up her street!,

 

I have been in the hospital a few days with Hamada, Algy.

[algy 379]

I have been in the hospital a few days with Hamada, Algy.

I hope all is well with him Cleo.

[Cleopatra 93]

Thanx Algy. He's doing fine now. Back home and sleeping at the moment. He was very lucky. Me too. How I prayed to Allah that he would not take him from me.

[algy 379]

Thanx Algy. He's doing fine now. Back home and sleeping at the moment. He was very lucky. Me too. How I prayed to Allah that he would not take him from me.

PM Cleo.