Bear on the roof.

[algy]

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the
phone book and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls
the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 15 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his truck. He's got a ladder, a
baseball bat, a pit bull, and a shotgun. "What are you going to do?" the
homeowner asks. "I'm going to use this ladder to get on the roof, then I'm
going to knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear
falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.
The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in a cage in the
back of the truck."

He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's this for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

[Cleopatra]

Tears running down my legs.