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Me Mams Done A Runner


Wingnut
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Me Mam give me a crack round the lughole and locked me in the coalshed for two days because of the bad joke I told. (Sincere Apologies).

 

I kicked the door down and got out and found a note nailed onto the formica topped kitchen table.

 

 

Wingnut

Just to let you know where I am. By the time you read this, I will be halfway to Brazil, where I am going to bring your uncle Timoki from the Kayopo tribe back to England with me. While I am there, I am going to have a 5 inch diameter lip disk inserted in me bottom lip. Your uncle Timoki says they always do it in their village, as it stops the slave traders from pinching their women. And it comes in handy for frying eggs on when the sun gets hot.

 

I am going to teach them how to play bingo when I get there. Your uncle Timoki told me that he didn't know what a house was, so we worked a plan out and the only difference is that when they get a full house, instead of shouting house, they will have to shout mud hut instead.

 

I?ve put three tins of rice pudding, five bags of economy sized bags of crisps, and a bag of taters in the pantry for you.

 

P.S.

Don?t forget to let the cats out before you go to bed, they'll be bursting by now if they haven't already been. Oooh, and if the window cleaner comes round for his money, tell him I?ll see to him when I get back and not to forget the corners.

 

Mam.

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