Light hearted Olympic's.

[algy]

The President of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the upcoming London Olympic Games.

He said, 'Pretty much everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country for the US'

 

When asked about the dangers of boxing, the Irish Olympic Boxing Coach said "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious".

 

At the Olympic Games, a lady spectator meets a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick.

'Excuse me,' says the lady to the man. 'Are you a pole vaulter?'

'No,"' says the man, 'I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?'

 

Olympic Basketball analyst, "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces"

 

The following are for ADULTS ONLY.

 

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"

"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course", says the man proudly.

The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver: it would be nice if you came second for a change!".

 

Sports Commentator Quotes:

 

Weightlifting Commentator: "And here we have Gregoriava from Bulgaria, I saw her magnificent snatch during her warm up this morning"

 

Dressage Commentator: "This really is a beautiful horse, I speak from personal experience as I once mounted her mother".

 

At the 2004 medal presentation ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew".

 

Football commentator on the West Ham v Spurs game: "Julian Dicks is everywhere, it's as if West Ham have got eleven Dicks on the field!".

 

Tennis commentator; "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well, is that before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.... Oh! my God what have I just said?".