Presidential race -

[observer]

Given it's a race for the most powerfull political position in the World - thought I'd catch a bit of the Republican Convention on the news. Listening to some of the speaches by the rich and successfull, I thought it was based on a Monty Python sketch, with each speaker trying to outdo the other with tales of their poverty stricken origins. Seems Mitt Romney's wife never had an ironing board, and had to use a fold down table in their basement flat! Thought the next speaker would go one better, and tell us " that's luxury, we lived in a shoe box in the middle of Route 66"!

[Lt Kije]

Lived in a shoe box, !!!

Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

[Cleopatra]

Lived in a shoe box, !!!

Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

 

Awww Lt Kije, I'm crying bucketloads of tears for you now. You had it rough as a kid, didn't you. Poor you.

[Lt Kije]

Just for Cleo, who was not a Monty Python fan enjoy

 

 

Monty Python's Flying Circus -

"Four Yorkshiremen"

 

[ from the album Live At Drury Lane, 1974 ]

 

The Players:

Michael Palin - First Yorkshireman;

Graham Chapman - Second Yorkshireman;

Terry Jones - Third Yorkshireman;

Eric Idle - Fourth Yorkshireman;

The Scene:

Four well-dressed men are sitting together at a vacation resort.

'Farewell to Thee' is played in the background on Hawaiian guitar.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risotto.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas, eh, Josiah?

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

You're right there, Obadiah.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

A cup o' cold tea.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Without milk or sugar.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

Or tea.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

In a cracked cup, an' all.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Aye, 'e was right.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Aye, 'e was.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

I was happier then and I had nothin'. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t' corridor!

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would ha' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House? Huh.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Well, when I say 'house' it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad to go and live in a lake.

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

Cardboard box?

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

Aye.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:

Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:

Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:

Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:

And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.

ALL:

They won't!

< < < previous classic sketch next classic sketch > > >

[Cleopatra]

OMG! I laughed so much I think I need to go and change my knickers!

[Dizzy]

.... maybe a little too much info there Cleo

[Cleopatra]

Well hush my fingers!

[wolfie]

When I hear Mitt the Twit Romney say that he is now America's only hope, I despair for the American people. He reminds me of a popular TV programme............ 'An Idiot Abroad'

[Lt Kije]

I don't think the world would be a safer place if he gets in, I would rather stick with the incumbent

[asperity]

It seems incredible that a country with the vast resources that the USA have should be incapable of finding someone talented to be President. They seem to get worse with each election :shock:

[observer]

X-factor politics!

[Bazj]

Not X Factor politics..... Money politics. The millionaire with the most money usually becomes president!

[Bill]

Well reading the classic Monty Python sketch really brightened up an otherwise boreing day.

 

Bill

[Lt Kije]

:lol:

[observer]

Tried 5 minutes of the Democratic Convention - equal amounts of gut wrenching smaltz as the Republicans - can't believe a Nation can be so gullible and naive. Michele's little tale of Barak's poverty qualifications, was that he had an old rusty car with a hole in the passenger door, so she could see the sidewalk. Wow - a car? How lucky is that? Could really do with the Queen of Hockey Moms coming back - Sarah - so thick, she was funny!

[Lt Kije]

It beggars belief that they say UK politics are going the same way, Blair always saw himself as presidential, in that respect he has alot to answer for.

[Bazj]

It beggars belief that they say UK politics are going the same way, Blair always saw himself as presidential, in that respect he has alot to answer for.

 

He was also the instigator of an illegal war that saw the needless deaths of countless British Soldiers and should be tried for war crimes and if not executed; should be in jail till he rots ..... however, he has made himself a nice fat millionaires lifestyle with a nice peace envoys salary to fall back on every month out of his time conning the British public...... and when he knew the game was up, he handed the reins to his patsy; Broon who then paid the price at the last election

 

funny old world!

[Cleopatra]

Innit?

[observer]

Think the Brits have remained too cynical to fall for this type of hype, but that may be changing.

[Lt Kije]

We can live in hope Obs,

[Bazj]

Think the Brits have remained too cynical to fall for this type of hype, but that may be changing.

 

they believed it with Bliar

[observer]

They rejected the attempt at US style razamataz with Kinnock. Bliar benefited from an exasperation with the Tories, and a clinical targeting of the "middle class" C2's (whilst abandoning Labour's core support), which was imported from the US.