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Things that turn you into Victor Meldrew


Nick Tessla
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Drivers who don't signal - not just for the benefit of other drivers but pedestrians who are left wondering if it's safe to cross the road. :angry:

 

 

Idiots who can't be bothered returning their shopping trolleys but leave them in the parking space. :angry:

 

 

Shop assistants who ask "Is that all? " - "why, is there a minimum ****ing amount you have to buy?" - try asking "Is there anything else?" instead. :angry:

 

 

Americanisms - they're chips not fries - and no I don't want frys - which is offal. (I've nothing against offal but not with my burger.) :angry:

 

 

People in pubs going to the bar and asking "Can i get a ..." - no it's not self-service you buffoon. Ask properly - including saying please and thankyou (it's not hard) :angry:

 

 

Litter - and in this I include remote littering, mass balloon releases and, those flying fire hazards, chinese lanterns. :angry:

 

 

Chuggers. :angry:

 

 

Charity bag packers who lurk at supermarket checkouts and expect you to pay for the privelage of having your eggs smashed while being packed by some spotty cub-scout, junior league footballer etc. :angry:

 

 

People who go to the ten items or fewer (not less!) till with an overflowing trolley. The till should automatically put a 10% extra charge on their shopping. :angry:

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Nick, to add just a few to your very apt list :-

 

People using double negatives e.g., "Ive not got none"

People who say "nothink" instead of nothing.

People walking with their heads down texting.

People shouting on mobile phones.

(is it possible that I dislike people)?

Women wearing baseball caps.

Foul language.

When on a car park with loads of spaces, the moron who decides to squeeze in the one space next to me.

 

There are lots more but the one that nearly send me over the top is wetting the end of my sleeves when I'm washing the dishes.

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Yeah.... Can they 'real' Victor Meldrew please stand up :lol::lol:

 

You have serious competition Nick and Obs now that you have both awoken our 'Victor' as he's definately someone to give you a run for your money on that score (but don't underestimate Peter as he is clearly a good contender too :wink: )

 

:lol::lol:

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one on from the charity bag packers is the checkout operator I got tonight at Tescos.... The dozy mare decided to put two loaves in a bag and then put two 4lb bags of sugar on top.... by the time I got home and realised, I had two bloody flat loaves! :evil:

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People who while stopped at traffic lights, can’t be bothered using the handbrake and prefer to sit with their foot on the brake dazzling the person behind. :angry:

 

Course, nobody on here would do this would they. :P

 

 

Bill :)

 

mine is automatic and it has a feature called "Brake Hold" which means I only have to touch the brake pedal and the car automatically applies the footbrake until I accelerate. It stops the car "creeping" which automatics do. It does however also switch on the brake lights..... and anyway, it doesn't have a handbrake!!

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Nick, to add just a few to your very apt list :-

 

People using double negatives e.g., "Ive not got none"

People who say "nothink" instead of nothing.

People walking with their heads down texting.

People shouting on mobile phones.

(is it possible that I dislike people)?

Women wearing baseball caps.

Foul language.

When on a car park with loads of spaces, the moron who decides to squeeze in the one space next to me.

 

There are lots more but the one that nearly send me over the top is wetting the end of my sleeves when I'm washing the dishes.

Victor, I agree wholeheartedly with you on your every point other than the last one, to alleviate the stress you experience whilst washing dishes I use a trick that has been passed down my family for generations, grasp the end of the shirt sleeve on the left arm with the fingers and thumb of the right hand and rotate them anti clockwise whilst at the same time rotating them around the wrist effectively rolling the sleeve material along the left arm toward the elbow, continue this action until the sleeve material reaches a position just below the left elbow, repeat this operation with the left hand to the shirt sleeve on the right arm, you should now have both sleeves rolled up both arms thus enabling you to wash your dishes without wetting either of the ends of your shirt sleeves getting wet, the same method may be used if wearing a sweater or jacket however I would recommend removing the jacket as the sleeves are much more difficult to roll up. It took me quite a while to master this operation, but Victor don't give up, persistence does result in tremendous satisfaction when you finally achieve success, and may you never have wet shirt sleeves again. :wink::D :grin:

P.S. Make sure you undo the buttons of the shirt cuffs prior to starting the procedure.

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The one that gets me is spending time queuing at the checkout, finally getting all your shopping out of the trolley and the voice comes out with "would you like to use the next checkout" and directs the person behind me to the next checkout along that has just been opened because of the long queue. (usually happens to me in Aldi"

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My car has a similar feature Baz, does yours have an electric hand brake as well, that took alot of getting used to :wink:

 

The electric handbrake is great!! Means they have to do a road test on the car when it has an MOT though as it can't be tested on a rolling road like normal cars!!

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Algy, I have just read your very descriptive solution to save me getting my sleeves wet when washing the dishes. I printed it out and just tried it. It certainly works but it will take me a while before I can do it without reading the notes at the same time. I will keep practicing.

 

Thank you and a HAPPY CHRISTMAS

 

:P

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Algy, I have just read your very descriptive solution to save me getting my sleeves wet when washing the dishes. I printed it out and just tried it. It certainly works but it will take me a while before I can do it without reading the notes at the same time. I will keep practicing.

 

Thank you and a HAPPY CHRISTMAS

 

:P

Victor, I'm so glad you accepted it in the spirit it was meant! :wink:

"A Happy Christmas to you and your Family"

 

333.gif

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