another limerick

[Cleopatra]

There was a young man from Nantucket,

Who's......... er! Better not!

 

Have this one instead:-

 

There once was a poet named Dan,

Who's poetry never would scan.

When told this was so,

He said, "Yes, I know"

"It's because I try to put every possible syllable into the very last line that I can" !!

 

And this one:-

 

There was a young maid from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass;

Not rounded and pink,

As you probably think -

It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

[Evil Sid]

we haven't done this for a while.

posted limericks to make you smile

whether naughty or fun

or a really bad pun

just so long as you don't drink the nile.

 

[Dizzy]

Good one Evils

[Dizzy]

There was a young chap on the forum

who thought he may die from the bordom

A limerick topic he set

in the hope he would get...

but seems most have completely ignored 'im

 

.... by starting another new topic Cleo

[algy]

The limerick is furtive and mean

 

And needs to be kept in close quarantine

 

Or she sneaks down to the slums

 

And promptly becomes

 

Disorderly, bawdy and obscene.

 

(....if the bonnet fits wear it!).

[Dizzy]

[algy]

Tis' a favourite project of mine,

 

A new value of pi to assign.

 

I would fix it at 3,

 

For it's simpler, you see,

 

Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9

[Cleopatra]

Good one Sid!

I know Dizzy, I realised after I posted that I should have posted it Algy's. But I couldn't undo it.

 

 

 

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I've seen

So seldom are clean -

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

[Evil Sid]

writing limericks is habit forming

as I found when I wrote this this morning

yes some can be good

but writing them should

carry a sanity warning

 

[algy]

Go! Sid Go! you have the skill and inspiration.

[P J]

n a flower show, Ned from Australia,

Painted his butt like a dahlia,

For colour and size,

it won the first prize

But the smell, was a hell

Of a failure..

[P J]

If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile

And cut off its beard, willy-nilly

You can honestly say

That you have just made

A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly

[Cleopatra]

The sexual lust of the camel,

Is greater than anyone thinks,

And when his obsession obsesses him,

He makes straight way for the Sphinx.

Now the Sphinx´s anterior orifice,

Is covered with sands from the Nile.

Which explains the hump on the camel,

And the Sphinx´s inscrutable smile.

[Cleopatra]

Sydney, the smallest of black ants,

Loved climbing inside people's pants!

One day he climbed right up inside...

And because of the smell, Sydney died!

[Cleopatra]

Enquiries, questions and things of that ilk,

Are often asked North of the Border,

Is anything worn underneath the kilt?

No, its all in good working order!

[Dizzy]

You're clearly loosing it Cleo... they aren't limericks (but they are funny )

 

Remember.... AABBA

[Cleopatra]

No, but I remember a group called ABBA.What have they got to do with anything?

 

Anyway, it's late here!

[Dizzy]

AABBA not ABBA Cleo and you don't know the meaning of late going by the time of some of your posts

[P J]

The limerick's structure somewhat

necessitates *eloquent* smut.

If you haven't the time

to learn meter and rhyme,

then don't write them, you ignorant slut.

[P J]

So Asp doesn't feel left out

 

 

, ` & #

$ @ | + . -

8 7 6 5 4

" * _

? ; ! AS;DOFB2

 

[P J]

There once was a nice juicy orange,

...............Bugger!

[Cleopatra]

Hummmmm.... All the Christmas cheer will be gone by Christmas Day. Not even a spoonful of brandy left to flame the Christmas Pudding!

[algy]

Hummmmm.... All the Christmas cheer will be gone by Christmas Day. Not even a spoonful of brandy left to flame the Christmas Pudding!

Cleo, have you been at the Brandy all ready.

[Cleopatra]

Algy, I'm muslim. I don't touch alcohol.

 

But I think P J has

[algy]

Algy, I'm muslim. I don't touch alcohol.

 

But I think P J has

Sorry Cleo, no offence intended.