Jump to content

Fruit Cake


wolfie
 Share

Recommended Posts

Fruitcake Recipe

1 cup water, 1 cup sugar, 4 large eggs, 2 cups dried fruit, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 cup brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, 1 gallon whiskey

 

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink.

 

Repeat.

 

Turn on the electric mixer;

 

beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl

 

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

 

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.

 

Turn off mixer.

 

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in

the cup of dried fruit

 

Mix on the turner.

 

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

 

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

 

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

 

Check the whiskey.

 

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts

 

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.

Whatever you can find.

 

Grease the oven.

 

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

 

Don't forget to beat off the turner

 

Throw the bowl out of the window

 

Check the whiskey again.

 

Go to bed

 

Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...