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Russian Roulette


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The bride had been complaing for about a month now, that she still can't get the hosepipe to work. I had fitted one of these hoselock adjustable squirters on the end of the hose. All you have to do is hold the grey part with one hand and, turn the green end piece with the other. How difficult can that be? I've told her umpteen times.


Anyway, I was sat out in the yard, when she came out pestering me to show her how to work it again. Right then says I. Just one more time and then that's it. Is the tap turned on at the wall asks I? Yes she said. And don't talk to me like a fool, just explain it properly to me. So I gave her the big rolly eye bit.


Now then says I, put that grey part of the hose connector in your right hand. Yes says she. Now keep that grey bit still, and turn the green pointed part of the conector until water comes out of the end. This green bit she asks as she pointed it directly at me from a distance of three feet.


I still can't believe that I sat there staring down the bore of a hosepipe and shouting like a madman, and saying YES FOR GODS SAKE JUST DO IT! to her last question.

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