2 for 1 funerals at Tesco

[Bill]

There doesn’t seem much for grumpy old buggers like me to grump about just lately or maybe it’s the realisation that irrespective of the amount of grumping, it has no effect whatsoever on the root cause. It might even be that every man reaches some kind of peak in grumping. A pivotal moment in time where the penny finally drops and you realise that not only that you can’t change things but that you’re past the point of caring.

 

So anyway, while watching the telly this morning, the young lady was interviewing the vicar responsible for determining the fair and proper unified rate, for churches to charge for births, marriages and deaths. It’s a long time since I was married and even longer since I was christened so I couldn’t remember how much I paid back then. But, I do know now that when I die, the church will charge me £150 to hold the service and I certainly won’t be objecting about that, in fact I think that’s a bargain these days!

 

Now the way I see it is that you don’t die that often but when you do it’s reassuring to know you’re not going to be ripped off. Now hang on a moment, does anyone seriously believe that the church is out to rip people off on their funerals by charging £150? I doubt many people of grumpy age would think this way so maybe thinking this way is a generation thing or something you might expect from a bloody alien with no understanding of life here as we know it.

 

So this silly little girl interviewer this morning insisted on drawing comparisons of the churches pricing policy for funeral services with that of Tesco. "If Tesco put their prices up like that people would be up in alms” Just as well that the vicar was a man of God because I wouldn’t have had the patience to carry on answering her bizarre line of Tesco comparisons.

 

I just wonder if this person is representative of our future generations and whether or not at some time in the future it will be the norm for two for one deals with club card points on funerals.

 

Grumpy rant over!

 

Bill

[Dizzy]

Good post Bill

 

Every time I go past Tesco now I'll be giggling after reading your comments

[observer]

So if they offer 2 for 1 funerals, will that mean keeping your partner in the freezer until it's your time to go?!

[Evil Sid]

Stick with the co-op at least you can get your divvy

 

You can pay in advance at most funerial places these days so getting a two for one deal may not be that far off. Wonder if they will offer a bulk discount for retirement homes.

[Bazj]

My mate works at the Co Op.... I wouldnt fancy him laying me out..... I can imagine going to the furnace with a daffodil up my bum!!

[Dizzy]

I must warn my mother-in-law as she's apparently just 'paid' for her own funeral with them.

 

I wonder why she chose to do it herself though...maybe she doesn't trust anyone else to sort it but to me it's a bit morbid and tempting fate to arrange your own funeral and pay upfront.

[Wingnut]

I've left strict instructions that when my time comes, I want to be dumped in the wheelie bin with the rest of the rubbish.

[Dizzy]

Oooh no.. think about your neighbours, the wildlife and others

 

You could be there for a long time Wingy as the bin men will refuse to take you due to either excess weight or some other reason. I'm not sure Woolston or Gateworth tips would take you either and the councils 'bulk waste service' certainly wouldn't (although the con men who are pretending to be them might)

 

Tell your wife to wrap you up well though just incase as we forgot to put our bin out last week and the flies were awful... half way through week two one full bin with everything bagged including the odd sealed up poop bag of course and one double bagged chicken pieces... fly feeding frenzy (well it would have been if they could have opened the lid).

 

The smell was so bad we actually put it out in the backs for 3 days and after it was emptied I had the not so pleasant job of disinfecting it and washing it all out to get rid of the nasty wiff as I have more of a stomach for these things but boy was I retching at times

 

So just think what a whiff and fly frenzy you would create

[Wingnut]

Okay then, leave me on the Town Hall steps instead. the council have had everything else out of me, now they can have me carcass.

[Dizzy]

 

Maybe your wife should 'file' you in the planning department

[Peter T]

Can you imagine the furore if that actually happened. Joe Bloggs dies and asks to be left in a wheelie bin with letter of consent. Neither the council, the police or the law would have a box to tick for that situation. CHAOS rules. :grin: :grin:

[Wingnut]

That's right Peter.

All the council could do would be to put me on their new shiny expencive I pods, discuss me at their next meeting, and delete me. Bish, bash bosh, job done.