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Going to a Fancy Dress Ball if you have a wooden leg


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An academic gentleman was invited to a fancy dress ball. He had a bald head, and a wonderfully hand crafted wooden leg, both of which he was very proud of.

Having no costume to wear he sent away to a mail order firm for assistance, telling them about his unique hand crafted wooden leg and his bald head.


The first thing he was sent was a Highway man's oufit. He was dreadfully annoyed, and sent it back, saying that not only did it hide both his bald head, and his lovely wooden leg, but as he had a wooden leg how could he possibly sit astride a horse.


The firm apologised and by return sent a Monk's habit.

The professor sent it back,saying, that while it showed off his bald head very nicely, the long habit covered up his lovely crafted wooden leg.


The firm again apologised, and sent a Long John Silver pirates outfit.

The professor sent it back,saying, that while it showed off his magnificent wooden leg, the tricorn hat completely covered his shiny bald head.


This situation continued with several more outfits, and the owner of the fancy dress firm becoming increasingly fed up with their academic client.


Finally the professor received a large square wooden box which contained the following items :-


1. Large saucepan.

2. Kilos brown sugar.

1. Large Jug.

1. Hacksaw.

1. Swiss army Knife

1. Wooden Spoon.


and the following instruction sheet.


Collect two litres of water in the jug, and pour it into the saucepan, bring it to the boil, and then slowly add the brown sugar,stirring continually with the wooden spoon.

This will produce about half a gallon of brown syrup.

Take the hack saw and cut the foot off your wooden leg, and then use the large sharp blades of the Swiss army knife to trim a fine point on the thin end of the leg.

Transfer the syrup from the saucepan to the jug.









You are now in a position to easily pour the brown syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your bottom, and go to the ball as a toffee apple.

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