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Soccer Joke


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Bloke goes into a brothel, says to the madam, "How much will it cost to be totally humiliated?"

"It will be ?40".

"What do I get for that?"

"An England top"



Capello in a move to restore pride and passion in his team is arranging a friendly with Iceland.

If he gets a positive response he will arrange further games against Tesco & Sainsburys.

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It is just before the England v Brazil match. Kaka goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks. "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England . They're sh*te and we can't be bothered."



Kaka looks at them and says: "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself - you lads go down the pub."



So Kaka goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the


Brazilian team go off for a few jars.



After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads:

" Brazil 1 - England 0 (Kaka 10 minutes)".



He is beating England all by himself!



A few pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers

"It must be full time now, let's see how he got on."



They put the teletext on. "Result from the Stadium: ' Brazil 1 (Kaka 10 minutes) - England 1 (Lampard 89 minutes)."



They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against England !!



They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Kaka. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.



"I've let you down, I've let you down."



"Don't be daft, you got a draw against England , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"



"No, no, I have, I've let you down ... I got sent off after 15 minutes."

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