Scientists discover new element

[Paul Kennedy]

A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.

 

The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium?s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

 

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

 

I was unsure whether to post the topic in this section or the political one.

 

PS There is actually no shortage of supply of Governmentium, but it can be extremely expensive.

[Peter T]

Brilliant!!! I note that it is also replicated at a town called Warrington.

[Dizzy]

Nice one Paul

[LymmParent]

Not sure about the name. Shadow Governmentium seems to exhibit the same characteristics!

[Paul Kennedy]

Ah but you have assumed that I am making a political comment. Had I have wanted to then I would have said that Governmentium had an Atomic Mass of 349.

[LymmParent]

No, I've just previously seen the same joke with the element called "administratium".... so SOMEONE has politicised it since, even if it wasn't you.

[Wingnut]

Going by the title of this thread, I thought the answewr to Bills Toaster problem had been found.

[Mary]

[LymmParent]

Going by the title of this thread, I thought the answewr to Bills Toaster problem had been found.

 

Toasters are not to be take lightly, Wingy. A world without toast is a cold and soggy place, devoid of warm crispy morning sustenance and traditionally supported Heinz Beans teatimes. Not a joking matter, that.....

[Evil Sid]

think he's more of a fried bread person.

 

governmentium has been around for a long time but is not a separate element. it is the ore from which administratium is produced.

it is also one of those rare elements that actually runs backwards in time. the further back in time you go the less there is of it and the rarer it becomes.

 

it is highly infectious taking over places where it has not previously existed, removal is extremely hard once a place has been infected and extreme measures are usually required. even then it may retain a small core from which to start again.

all cases should be labelled as toxic and extremely hazardous.