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Sports Predictions for 2010


wolfie
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Not my own, but uncannily accurate :wink:

 

2010 PREDICTIONS

JANUARY

Rafa Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win the FA Cup and the darts world championship at Lakeside.

Bolton Wanderers replace sacked manager Gary Megson with a ?more popular? figure and unveil Sir Fred ?The Shred? Goodwin as the new boss.

FEBRUARY

Tiger Woods makes his first appearance since reportedly undergoing cosmetic surgery. Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win the League Cup final, despite having been knocked out of the competition. ?We must be positive,? he says.

MARCH

Michael Schumacher returns to the Grand Prix scene and promptly wins in Bahrain by ramming every other car off the track.

Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win The Six Nations Championship.

APRIL

Tiger Woods announces his first commercial deal since the adultery scandals. He is the face of the new PlayStation game ?Resident Evil, The PGA Tour?.

Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win the Boat Race and the London Marathon.

MAY

Newcastle United are promoted. Owner Mike Ashley says he has learned from the mistakes of the past - and immediately appoints Dennis Wise as director of football and renames the stadium WhiteHartLane@James?Park.

Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win the Champions League Final - even though it is a repeat of last season?s Manchester United v Barcelona clash.

JUNE

BBC coverage of the World Cup Finals is thrown into chaos when pundit Alan Hansen flies home after the first round, explaining ?it?s what the Scots always do at the World Cup?.

At Wimbledon, Andy Murray is asked for the 10,000th time if he will be supporting England in South Africa - and promptly tells a diplomatic fib for the 9,999th time.

JULY

Thierry Henry wins the World Cup Final for France by punching in the winning goal against Fabio Capello?s men. English pundits queue up to exonerate Henry saying ?any player would do the same - it was the instinctive act of a professional?, just as they did when the Republic of Ireland were robbed in the play offs.

Woods enters the US Women?s Open, a decision that leads to a terrible misunderstanding involving Police.

AUGUST

The new Premier League season begins and Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win the title, the Champions League, the FA Cup, La Liga, Serie A and the Euro Lotto.

Roberto Mancini is sacked by Manchester City. Chief executive Garry Cook says the manager failed to meet his ?result trajectory targets? after one match, adding the Italian ?bottled it?.

SEPTEMBER

Garry Cook is admitted to hospital. A horse?s head is found in his bed and X-rays reveal he has a whiteboard displaying ?result trajectory targets? lodged in his back passage.

Woods is caught trying to sneak a cocktail waitress into his golf bag.

Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win Strictly Come Dancing.

OCTOBER

Woods is chosen for the Ryder Cup. This leads to another terrible misunderstanding involving Police after Woods claims he misheard the name of the trophy. Europe captain Colin Montgomerie is furious as he is barred from the course after being mistaken for an elderly aunt.

NOVEMBER

Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win the Ashes in Australia.

Schumacher claims the Formula One World Championship after new FIA supremo Flavio Briatore orders every other car to crash into the pit lane wall.

DECEMBER

England win the right to host the 2018 World Cup and the FA, in keeping with current policy, announce they will host the matches in Rome, Naples, Milan, Florence and Turin.

Benitez ?guarantees? Liverpool will win The X Factor?

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