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New Element discovered


Eagle

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This week McBroon Laboratories in Dunfermline has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

 

Governmentium (symbol = Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

 

Its 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

 

But Governmentium?s mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organisation causes more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration, known as critical morass.

 

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol = Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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