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a cynical look at proverbs and sayings.

Evil Sid

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1) a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, followed by another and another etc.


2) a rising tide lifts all boats, with the exception of those that have sunk or are on dry land.


3) after a storm comes a calm and a load of insurance claims for damage.


4) all roads lead to rome, unless you are already in rome in which case all roads lead away from rome.


5) boys will be boys and in this enlightened era boys will sometime be girls as well.


6) cheats never prosper, at least they don't if they are caught cheating that is.


7) crime doesn't pay, unless you are a lawyer.


8 ) don't bite the hand that feeds you, unless you are a cannibal.


9) Faith will move mountains, if backed up with a few well placed blocks of semtex.


10) for everything there is a reason, usually its because.


11) For want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the man was lost, these days we blame the sat nav.


12) he who laughs last laughs longest, usually in embarrassment at not understanding the joke and not wanting to show it.


13) honesty is the best policy, unless you want to make a career out of politics.


14) history repeats itself, especially when you are sat listening to your aged aunt in the nursing home on a wet Sunday.


15) it goes without saying, but people still say it regardless.


16) it's never too late, unless you are practicing the bagpipes at two in the morning.


17) it's the early bird that catches the worm, which just goes to show that the worm should have had a lie in.


18) less is more, especially when it come to nouvelle cuisine.


19) Lightning never strikes twice in the same place, which rather makes lightning rods on building pointless.


20) money talks, usually it says goodbye.


21) Nature abhors a vacuum, which is why you see so many of them on the tip.


22) Nine tailors make a man, if you can find out who they are my mrs says can they make her one.


23) nothing is certain but death and taxes, and with a good tax lawyer on your side you need only worry about death.


24) People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, or wander around naked either.


25) Seeing is believing, proof that pink elephants do exist I've seen them many times.


26) Talk is cheap, unless you call an 0845 number.


27) there is an exception to every rule, except for this one as a rule.


28) Too many cooks spoil the broth and appear on tv shows.


29) What goes up must come down, with the exception of petrol prices.


30) There's no time like the present, apart from the past or possibly the future.

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