Rockcutting Posted June 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2013 I went into our attic and found a violin and an old oil painting. I took them to the antique shop and they told me "what you have got here is a Rembrant and a Stradivarious" "Unfortunately, they said, Stadivarious was a hopeless painter and............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Sid Posted June 13, 2013 Report Share Posted June 13, 2013 Man walks into a bar with a lump of tarmac under his arm and says "a pint for me and one for the road" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antisthenes Posted June 14, 2013 Report Share Posted June 14, 2013 What is long and thin, covered in skin, red in parts, and stuck in tarts? Rhubarb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted June 14, 2013 Report Share Posted June 14, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockcutting Posted June 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2013 These replies are great! How many of you would like to join me for my "One man comedy show"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted June 15, 2013 Report Share Posted June 15, 2013 Your 'one man' comedy show?? Sort of excludes anyone else or it wouldn't be a one man would it But you knew that and I'm just being awkward 'cos clearly I couldn't join in anyway even if I was funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Sid Posted June 16, 2013 Report Share Posted June 16, 2013 It says a one MAN show does not exclude women, or maybe that is the expected size of the audience. A guy is sitting at a bar when the window opens and a other guys climbs in crawls across the ceiling, down the wall and orders a pint of cider, the guy drinks the cider then leaves the same way as he came. the guy sitting at the bar says to the barman " that was odd" "certainly was" replies the barman " he usually drinks lager" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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