Lt Kije Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 Warning Not to everyones taste. BBC NEWSMuslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virginsthey are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have sofar failed to produce an agreement.The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins asuicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% thisFebruary from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in thenumber of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in theafterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B. O. O. M.) responded with astatement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for astrike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our membersare literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don'task for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in theteeth".Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands , Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained,"I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in aposition to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realitiesof modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Westerndepravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It'sa straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. Idon't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staffthat they won't be able to blow themselves up.Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland , Wales , Canada and the entireAustralian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membershipas there are so few virgins in their areas anyway. According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singingstar, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks likeand have reconsidered their benefit packages. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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