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harry hayes

A little giggle - groaner

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Lady takes her dog to the vet, cos it's got fleas. The vet picks it up ; looks at it; and says I've got to,put it down.

 

 

Just for fleas?

 

 

No, it's heavy.

 

Happy days

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One of Tommy Cooper's?? :lol: :lol:

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Yes, it was lousy. That was a second joke for you - buy one, get one flea.

 

I like silly jokes best, cos they have universal appeal and nobody gets hurt.

 

Happy days

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:huh: He's humouring you Harry. Have you seen the jokes he posts? They make me blush all over!:wink:

Florence, you haven't got a blush in you, you wore your blushes out years ago. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Anyway!, here's a 'little' silly joke as daft as Harry's-

 

30% of all motoring accidents in Sweden are caused by a Moose,

It's about time they took it's driving licence away!.

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Went to my doctors the other day and he said "your sick" he did not say what with just "Your sick" . I asked for a second opinion, he gave me a long stare and then said "your ugly as well" dry.gif

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I went to my doctor the other day. When I entered his surgery he looked at me and said with surprise, "Hello, I haven't seen you here for a long time".

"I would have come sooner", I replied, "but I've been ill".

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That Tommy Cooper has a lot to answer for :D :grin: :D

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My turn to be daft!!!.

 

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

 

2. A day without sunshine is like night.

 

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

 

4. I just got lost in thought, It wasn't familiar territory.

 

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

 

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

 

9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

 

10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

 

11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

 

12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

 

in the trap.

 

13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

 

14. Support bacteria. They are the only culture some people have.

 

15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

 

16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

17. Change is inevitable, except from some vending machines.

 

18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

 

19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

 

20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

 

21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

 

22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...

 

23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

 

24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink.

 

25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

something.

 

26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 

28. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

29. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

 

30. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

31. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

32. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

 

33. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

34. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 

35. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what

happened.

 

36. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all

fall off.

 

37. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people

appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Very goog Algy. Here's another little adage::

 

Why put off until tomorrow something you could put off until the weekend and do on overtime rates. :wink:

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