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A joke from an islamic website..... blimey they know how to have a laugh!!

 

True Incident: The incident took place in South Asia. A man was offering salah in his house. He was praying as fast as he could as many of us do. All of a sudden, he heard the door behind him open. Since, someone entered the room, he started making his ruku and sujud longer. Upon completion of the salah, he looked back to see who it was. To his amazement, it was a dog!

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A joke from an islamic website..... blimey they know how to have a laugh!!

 

True Incident: The incident took place in South Asia. A man was offering salah in his house. He was praying as fast as he could as many of us do. All of a sudden, he heard the door behind him open. Since, someone entered the room, he started making his ruku and sujud longer. Upon completion of the salah, he looked back to see who it was. To his amazement, it was a dog

 

I'll get my bisht

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...I have sooo many Jesus jokes. Would people be offended if I posted them? eeek :roll:

Nope!, I'm sure he also had a sense of humour. :wink::D :grin:

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....hmmm, maybe I will save them for people who want them sent by PM. They didn't go down well with my family. Or maybe I will risk being shouted at by other posters.

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....hmmm, maybe I will save them for people who want them sent by PM. They didn't go down well with my family. Or maybe I will risk being shouted at by other posters.

Just change the name in the joke from Jesus to, oh I don't know some other Prophet, and if the black arrow of death doesn't come winging its way towards you then you'll know that your gag is safe......... :wink:

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...okay, well don't say I didn't warn you.

 

What's the difference between a painting of Jesus, and the real Jesus?

 

The real Jesus needs more nails to put him up on display.

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...okay, well don't say I didn't warn you.

 

What's the difference between a painting of Jesus, and the real Jesus?

 

The real Jesus needs more nails to put him up on display.

Ouch!!!. see what you meant sadako. :blink:

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No, I can't. I will get myself into trouble and the last thing I want to do is offend people. Although all of this arguing reminds me of a story:

 

Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses, "I want to do a miracle like in the good old days!" and Moses says, "Sure!"

So Jesus gets up and says, "I think I will walk on the water, that was always a good one!" So Jesus walks over to the edge of the boat stands on the water and sinks like a stone.

Moses drags Jesus back into the boat and revives him. Moses then says, "What happened?"

"I think it's the holes in my feet!" Jesus replied.

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Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-

 

a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.

B) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.

d) Beer has never caused a major war.

e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.

g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.

h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.

I) You can prove you have a beer.

j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.

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After the crucifixion the disciples were gathered around the foot of the cross which held Jesus when Paul said “ Peter Jesus is calling out for you” Peter shouted to Jesus “ Lord what is it that you are trying to tell me” but the Lords voice was so weak that none of the disciples could make out what he was saying, again Jesus called Peters name,then his voice trailed into a whisper. The disciples decided that they would bring a ladder from Bethlehem, they carried a long heavy ladder with great difficulty, Peter spurring them on telling them that they needed to hurry as the Lord must have an important message to tell them and that he was becoming weaker by the minute, the disciples struggled to raise the heavy ladder to the horizontal bar of the cross, all the time Jesus was calling out Peters name, Peter ascended the ladder and asked Jesus “what is this message of wisdom you wish me to know” the Lords voice was so weak that Peter had to hold his ear close to the Lords mouth and waited for him to gather enough strength to speak, Jesus finally said “Peter I can see your house from here!”.

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i was working in a really dark cellar when I came across a picture. Blowing away the dust I knew straight away that this was a find of great importance. I took it straight to Sotheby's to be valued.

I asked the appraiser "Well how many millions do you reckon it's worth?"

"Not a carrot Sir sorry". He replied.

" What do you mean. Believers worldwide would pay good money for a photo of the Prophet giving his lovely wife the gift of gold on their wedding day" said I.

The appraiser returned " It's not a wedding photo Sir, it's an advert for Werthers Originals"

 

 

I'll get mi shroud.

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now it's safe to post..... :lol:

 

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead. After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

 

Dear Jesus,

I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.

Your Friend, Leroy

 

Now Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was. (Brat) So, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

 

Dear Jesus,

I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.

Yours Truly, Leroy

 

Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.

 

Dear Jesus,

I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a new bicycle?

Leroy

 

Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother was really wanting. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can, and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about; depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considering his actions. He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church.

 

Leroy went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing what he should really do. Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home, hid it under his bed, and wrote this letter.

 

Jesus,

I've broken most of the Ten Commandments; shot spit wads in school, tore up my sister's Barbie doll and lots more. I'm desperate. I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.

You know who.

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