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Limerick'

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There was a young lady from Wantage.

Of whom the Town Clerk took advantage.

Of course you must pay her.

Said the Borough Surveyor

It's you that has altered her frontage.

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There was a young lady of Kent

Who said that she knew what it meant

When men asked her to dine,

And served cocktails and wine;

She knew what it meant - but she went!

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I really laughed when I read this limerick.....

 

 

There was an old man of St. Bees,

Who was stung in the arm by a wasp;

When they asked, "Does it hurt?"

He replied, "No, it doesn't,

But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet

 

 

.....Not because it's funny but because of the thought of readers saying, "Eh? That doesn't even rhyme!"

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looks like one of Spike Milligans type of limerick

 

W.S Gilbert actually sid. :wink:

 

There was an old man named Sidney...

Who drank till he ruined a kidney.

It shriveled and shrank,

but he drank and he drank...

He had his fun doing it, didn't he?

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I used to think drinking was great

out every night with the mate

Now I'm loosing my bottle

almost teetotal

and never get in very late. <_<

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Cleo - the limerick about the Man of St Bees is usually quoted as the first ever true Limerick because of its scan pattern and the inherent puns. My favourite was always;

To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective,

"Is my eyesight the least bit defective?

Is your east tit the least bit the best of the west tit,

Or is it a trick of perspective?"

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For Sid, a Spike Milligan classic -

 

 

A combustible woman from Thang

Exploded one day with a BANG!

The maid then rushed in

And said with a grin,

"Pardon me, madam - you rang?"

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I'm here once again on the Forum

Kije is here too....and he'll bore 'em

He'll praise the EU

and sod me and you

"Let them all in!"...He'll cry; "I adore 'em"

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well at least I can make Dizzy Laugh....

She's from Stockton Heath; and has a posh little gaff

with hot running water

but somebody oughta....

tell her not to put too much in the bath!

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There was a young man from Nantucket

Who was having a bath in a bucket

When little he wore

There came a knock the door

He slipped on the floor and said – Oh' Bother!. :wink::D :grin:

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One for Rodders.

 

There was a young man called Bright,

Who could cycle faster than light.

He went out one day

In a relative way

And returned the previous night.

  • Upvote 1

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Nice one, Cleo - a theoretical physics limerick.

 

A smart young fencer named Fiske

Had an action incredibly brisk.

So fast was his action Fitzgerald contraction

Foreshortened his foil to a disc.

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There was a biddie called Dizzie

Who got herself into a tizzie,

she hid for a while

in nothing but a smile

in the hope that her other half would get busy.

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