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Lt Kije

The Hunting Accident

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The Hunting Accident.

 

A guy was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."

"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."

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(Apologies if you've heard this one)

 

Two men are are out hunting when suddenly one of them collapses and doesn't seem to be breathing.

 

His friend gets out his mobile and dials the emergency services.

 

He tells the operator "My friend's collapsed, I think he might be dead - what should I do"

 

The operator says "First of all, let's make sure he's dead."

 

The operator hears a gun shot

 

The friend says "OK, now what?"

 

:shock:

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The Hunting Accident.

 

A guy was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."

"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Congratulations

Nick, I have also heard it before, and I really don't need congratulating as it was funny the first time but unfortunately not quite as funny this time, so I don't hold you responsible as obviously you would not have been aware that I had heard the joke, so please don't give up just search around for another one and try us with that, better luck next time and don't forget if you don't try you will never succeed. :rolleyes::wink::D :grin:

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Wasn't it Cleo that Nick was congratulating? :unsure: :unsure:

Could ave' bin', who cares, I don't, do you! anyway Wolfie keep yer' big long nose out of it! and go and shuffle yer' pack..

:rolleyes:

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Could ave' bin', who cares, I don't, do you! anyway Wolfie keep yer' big long nose out of it! and go and shuffle yer' pack..

:rolleyes:

 

Calm down, calm down, it was a perfectly civil question. :roll:

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Wasn't it Cleo that Nick was congratulating? :unsure: :unsure:

 

 

It was Cleo I was congratulating, for two reasons

 

1) Having heard, and also remembered a joke, such an achievement :roll:

 

2) I did suspect that others may have heard the joke before and I acknowledged the fact. Indeed, I have probably heard most of the jokes posted on here previously. However I do not feel the need to log on and post just to point that out, as I feel is bad form and a bit crass (no matter who the poster is).

 

I was therefore congratulating her ptolemic majesty for managing to overcome such considerations :roll::roll:

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Her british majesty if you don't mind, as I've stated before I am british not egyptian. and anyway nick you get hissed off when anyone answers one of your comments in a way you dont like yet you enjoy doing it yourself to other posters you don't agree with, especially on that other site you referred to in another topic. Be advised - do unto others as you would have them do unto you! :wink: Now be a good boy and shuffle off lovie. :D

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Calm down, calm down, it was a perfectly civil question. :roll:

I'm calm Wolfie as matter of fact I'm positively placid. :wink::D :grin:

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You just don't get it do you Cleo :roll:

 

If you refer to me not liking mindless abuse then, no, I don't and will also point out to people when they appear to be incapable of rational discussion and therefore feel the need to resort to personal attacks - for example in the case "old-codger" (as I believe his username is) on the other site.

 

(I'll respond no more about it on this thread - it's supposed to be for jokes after all)

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No, nick, lovie, it's you that doesn't get it! Now what was it my wise old dad used to say? ah yes - where there's no sense there's no feeling!

 

 

It's always others' fault and never yours, isn't it, eh? Reference your last post on the Queens visit to Warrington. My post about my sister speaking with the Queen was not particicuarly addressed to you but you had to jump in there with a damned inane reply, didn't you, eh!? Silly boy!

 

quote(I'll respond no more about it on this thread - it's supposed to be for jokes after all) end quote.

 

Good! now bugger off! :D

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Blimey....... get a grip on life :unsure::roll::lol:

 

JOKE SECTION REMEMBER... IE A FUN AND HAPPY PLACE !!

 

Lt K... great joke and had me giggling

 

Nick T (or is your name Lovie now? ) ... great joke and had me giggling too...

 

regardless of whether I had heard/read similar before, remembered hearing/reading similar before or not, and no doubt next time I hear/read similar in the future I will still giggle. Just thought I'd clarify my own posistion ha ha

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Have you lost your sense of humour Cleo lovie :lol::unsure:

 

Give me a little time and I'll try and find it for you but please be patient as I am still feeling a little slow cos of my cold.. not to mention the fact that we only got in at 4am this morning after popping out at 7pm yesterday to wish someone a happy birthday.

 

Only kidding as I know everyone has a different senses of humour or the world would be a very boring place. <wink>

 

PS Medical fact that I never knew... but drinking alcohol seems to makes your nose stop running, stops you coughing and gets rid of your aches and pains too at both the time of consumption and for upto 12 hours later B)

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Here's one to make you giggle though .....

 

When HM the Queen goes to bed at night do you think she pulls her snuggly duvet/quilt up under her chin and shouts "Look Philip................... I'm a stamp" :lol::wink:

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A bit harsh Cleo as I'm sure HM would only be having a bit of fun and if you chopped her head off she wouldn't be able to do it :P:blink:

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Ahhhh MY head <_<:lol: Sounds good as it will get rid of my headache, stop me coughing and I wont have to blow my nose all day. :D

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