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Old jokes?

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Knock Knock

Who's there ?

Doctor !

Doctor who ?

That's right, have you seen my tardis !

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Originally posted by Eagle:

"My mother made me a homosexual"

"If I get the wool, will she make me one?"

posted by wolfie

Would that be a 'woolley wufter'

Good one wolfie :D

 

[ 04.03.2008, 12:05: Message edited by: Keith R ]

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A new map of the world has just been published; with the North Pole at the top, the South Pole at the bottom, and every other Pole in the UK! :wink:

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A chap took a cabbage for a walk. When asked why he took a cabbage for a walk he said ' Well from a distance it looks like a collie' :roll: :crazy:

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Originally posted by observer:

A new map of the world has just been published; with the North Pole at the top, the South Pole at the bottom, and every other Pole in the UK! :D:D:D

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-----

 

Subject: The Chinese Restaurant

 

 

 

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the ' Chicken Surprise,' The waiter brings the meal served in a lidded cast iron pot.

 

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

 

"Good grief did you see that ?" she asks her husband, he hasn't so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

 

Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation.

 

"Please sir" says the waiter, "what you order?"

 

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

 

You're going to love this..................

 

You're going to hate yourself for loving this!

 

"Ah so solly" says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"

 

John

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My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, ' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

 

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

 

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

 

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! .......You could learn a lot from him.'

 

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

 

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day ...You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

 

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

 

Honestly--------My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

 

 

John

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First one was the best....really made me laugh :D

 

Second one, typical male joke but still funny :D

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

:wink::P

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I was in the late shop this afternoon.

 

I picked up a loaf of Warburtons Medium Sliced. This nosy old pensioner came up to me and started to tell me the virtues of Brown bread over white bread, and how much healthier Brown bread is for me.

 

Hovis witnesses I've no bluddie time for em.

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