Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Cleopatra

A few More Funny Classified Ads

Recommended Posts

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

 

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

 

Dinner Special -- Turkey £2.35; Chicken or Beef £2.25; Children £2.00.

 

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

 

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a pottie chair, table, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

 

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

 

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too.

 

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

 

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

 

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a pottie chair, table, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

 

Now that's what I call recycling. :mrgreen:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Flippin' heck Cleo I could hardly breathe for laughing reading those. It's daft things like that which always set me off good style :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some more -

 

 

Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vegetables, salads, quiche.

 

7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings.

 

Great Dames for sale.

 

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

 

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

 

20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.

 

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

 

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

 

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

 

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

 

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

 

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

 

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

 

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

 

We build bodies that last a lifetime

 

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

 

Man, honest. Will take anything.

 

Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

 

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

 

Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

 

Modular Sofas. Only £299. For rest or fore play.

 

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...