algy Posted December 4, 2011 Report Share Posted December 4, 2011 There was a knock at the door this morning, I got out of bed and went down stairs to see who it was. I found it was the post lady but I couldn't open the door because I was still naked. so I opened the letter box to speak to her and I saw she was a muslim lady in a veil. After asking her what she wanted she rudely replied "its not very nice talking to just a pair of eyes" and I replied "now you know how we feel!". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Sid Posted December 4, 2011 Report Share Posted December 4, 2011 tin hat is currently unavailable due to repairs after excessive use Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted December 4, 2011 Report Share Posted December 4, 2011 Gosh that's an old one Algy, still as funny though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 Funny? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted December 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 Funny? Ooops! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter T Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I wondered what the reaction would be. Come on Cleo, I bet it brought a smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I wondered what the reaction would be. Come on Cleo, I bet it brought a smile. I don't think there is anything humerous about religion jokes - unless they are christian jokes such as this one:- A new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. After a few confessions, the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this, and realises it looks thoughtful... The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things, trying them out... The old priest says "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit? What happened next?!'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted December 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I don't think there is anything humerous about religion jokes - unless they are christian jokes such as this one:- A new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. After a few confessions, the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this, and realises it looks thoughtful... The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things, trying them out... The old priest says "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit? What happened next?!'" Cleo, I find that very offensive! NOT!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted December 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I don't think there is anything humerous about religion jokes - unless they are christian jokes such as this one:- A new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. After a few confessions, the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this, and realises it looks thoughtful... The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things, trying them out... The old priest says "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit? What happened next?!'" Cleo, I find that very offensive! NOT!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P J Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I say what a nice day to stick a cucumber through a letter box and shout "The Martians have landed missus". Doddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 Now that one is funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter T Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 Ok rewind. Why is it a religious joke and not a physical one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asperity Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I feel a bit lost there too Peter :unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P J Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I think its because its about a Muslim lady. I don't think its offensive but then I'm neither Muslim nor female so I'd be guessing on both counts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P J Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 Whilst we're on about Religion, I like this. In a survey conducted about different faiths, atheists and agnostics, in the United States, scored an average of 20.9 points out of a possible 32, while believers averaged a surprising 16.5. The survey, by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, found that Jews and Mormons did best among the faithful, averaging 20.5 and 20.3 respectively. Hispanic Catholics scored just 11.6 on average. (Telegraph) This survey obviously shows that Jews and Mormons are almost as smart as atheists and agnostics, while Hispanic Catholics are only half as smart. With more studies like this, scientists will soon be able to unlock even more mysteries about how certain religions can make you smarter, while having no religion at all can make you practically superhuman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I wondered what the reaction would be. Come on Cleo, I bet it brought a smile. Ok, I must confess (pardon the pun) I did smile briefly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazj Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 Ok, I must confess (pardon the pun) I did smile briefly. but if you had a bhurka on.... would anyone have known? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 Sheesh Baz, we don't wear burkas in the home, only when we go out. Actually, I choose not to wear the burka but wear the hijab. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazj Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 I gather that.... but I was joking!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 OMG I can't believe I'm asking this but Cleo... You have an amazing knowlegde of Warrington and of course it's old past and history and to me you seem 'Warringtonian' through and through so ... errrm... oh bugger.. how do I ask without sounding rude Did you grow up here with the muslim faith or did you sort of 'go over' at some stage later mayeb through marriage or whatever ? I shall ban myself later if you feel that is an inappropriate question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted December 5, 2011 Report Share Posted December 5, 2011 Warrington born and bred Dizzy, paternal grandfather welsh. I became muslim some time after marrying. My lovely husband did not mind that I was CofE but wished that I shared his faith, which is one readson why I eventually converted. Now where's my red book please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted December 6, 2011 Report Share Posted December 6, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted December 6, 2011 Report Share Posted December 6, 2011 Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. I really don't know what to say. I feel so humbly proud, and honoured, to recieve this book from you Dizzy. And thank you to my sweet, sweet husband and all my children and grandchildren for this lovely surprise. I really don't know how you all managed to keep this secret from me. Now I know why there has been so much whispering and strange phone calls recently. And thank you to all you lovely friends who came here tonight to share this wonderful occasion with me. Thank you all ever so much. I love you all. Oh and thanks to Hubert, my hairdresser, who did such a wonderful job on my wig so that I could attend this fantastic occasion tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algy Posted December 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2011 Thank you all ever so much. I love you all. Oh and thanks to Hubert, my hairdresser, who did such a wonderful job on my wig so that I could attend this fantastic occasion tonight. Even me! lets face it Cleo you wouldn't have received a "This is Your Life" book from Dizz if I hadn't posted the 'Letter Box' joke in the first place, and Damn! I was going to ask you about you being of the Muslim faith, I had actually typed the question then chickened out and deleted it because I thought I had upset you enough already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleopatra Posted December 6, 2011 Report Share Posted December 6, 2011 Even me! lets face it Cleo you wouldn't have received a "This is Your Life" book from Dizz if I hadn't posted the 'Letter Box' joke in the first place, and Damn! I was going to ask you about you being of the Muslim faith, I had actually typed the question then chickened out and deleted it because I thought I had upset you enough already. And thanks to my dear friend Algy, who made all this possible. Without his effort none of this would have happened. Silly bugger, I wasn't upset. By Allah if I had been upset you would have known it! Mohamed is stood here laughing his head off and he said to tell you, algy, if you do upset me you had best run and hide! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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