Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
algy

Heaven

Recommended Posts

Heaven

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, the Archangel Gabriel found him, resting on the seventh day. He enquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Gabriel, look what I've made." Archangel Gabriel looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" enquired Gabriel, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small populated area in the land of Great Britain and said "What's that?" "Ah," said God. "That's Merseyside, the most glorious place on Earth. There's a beautiful river, glorious parks, and buildings, great music and world dominating football teams. The people from Liverpool are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world as expatriats. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Gabriel gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be balance!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the lazy, arrogant, sod's I'm putting next to them in Manchester."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sent to Manc mates :wink: :wink: Uproar in no time at all :D :grin:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The people from Liverpool are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world as expatriats. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

 

I think you are more concerned about tumbleweed than you make out Alg.

 

Not sure if it's you or God that is taking the p+++. :D:wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you are more concerned about tumbleweed than you make out Alg.

 

Not sure if it's you or God that is taking the p+++. :D:wink:

 

Naah!! just spreading it around 'Wolf man', don't forget Warrington is between the two 'Great Cities' and having worked in both over the years I know which camp I reside in!. :wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have worked in the pool and found the people to be great, friendly and humorous! Wonderful people! 8)

I agree entirely Cleo, one aspect in favour of scousers is that they have a great sense of humour and the ability to laugh at themselves although that sense of humour can become very tiresome especially when you are delivering a pre-shutdown safety induction to a large group of scouse contractors hell bent on turning every subject into a joke.:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IMO I have yet to meet a scouser that can take a joke although they are very good at handing it out, and I still work in Liverpool off and on. :wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Having seen the rehashed, ancient and stale attempts at humour which you post on here, I think its your crappy material that's not fetching the laughs, not the audiences lack of a sense of humour. If it wasn't for my tumbleweeds you'd get no responses at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heaven

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, the Archangel Gabriel found him, resting on the seventh day. He enquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Gabriel, look what I've made." Archangel Gabriel looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" enquired Gabriel, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small populated area in the land of Great Britain and said "What's that?" "Ah," said God. "That's Merseyside, the most glorious place on Earth. There's a beautiful river, glorious parks, and buildings, great music and world dominating football teams. The people from Liverpool are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world as expatriats. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Gabriel gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be balance!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the lazy, arrogant, sod's I'm putting next to them in Manchester."

 

nice one Algy :mrgreen:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Having seen the rehashed, ancient and stale attempts at humour which you post on here, I think its your crappy material that's not fetching the laughs, not the audiences lack of a sense of humour. If it wasn't for my tumbleweeds you'd get no responses at all.

 

Give over you! I'm splitting my sides here! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Having seen the rehashed, ancient and stale attempts at humour which you post on here, I think its your crappy material that's not fetching the laughs, not the audiences lack of a sense of humour. If it wasn't for my tumbleweeds you'd get no responses at all.

ug549831253654679tumbleweed2.gif

:D :grin: :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Much better tumbleweed alg :wink:

 

and you are without doubt the best person to judge tumbleweeds :wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know I'm a bit slow on the uptake but would someone please explain what this "Tumbleweed" thing is about. :unsure:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol PJ, a merkin doesn't go on the head, or are you suggesting that Rooney is a ....?

Well if the cap fits.........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...