Lt Kije Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of ?1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of ?72,000... The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with ?96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief Stoker who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop 'em,' which he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?' The Old Chief calmly replied, ' The Falkland Islands '. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted June 7, 2011 Report Share Posted June 7, 2011 Must remember to tell my dad that one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baz1602 Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 My uncle was the Entertainments Officer on the General Belgrano...... he didn't go down too well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 The old ones are always the best and this one dates back over ten years but has popped up as a current post. Slight problem problem with the last upgrade maybe ??? Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted March 28, 2022 Report Share Posted March 28, 2022 On 3/25/2022 at 9:51 AM, Bill said: The old ones are always the best and this one dates back over ten years but has popped up as a current post. Slight problem problem with the last upgrade maybe ??? Bill And now we've both posted its 100%alive again 😂🤣😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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