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End of the World -

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Supposed to reach Scotland by tomorrow.

 

Apparently it's not as bad as last years though as it is heavier ash and anyway they now have new procedures in place so that travel wont be disrupted as much should the ash clouds happen more frequently :shock:

 

I wonder if those procedures are called 'boats' :lol:

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Like said before the end of the world is 'due' to happen on 21 Dec 2012 (well acording to the Mayan (spelling) calendar).

 

So do you believe in this one?

 

We do seem to be having a lot more severe earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and of course severe and changing weather patterns :shock:

 

Has the Mayan calendar predicted anything that has so far come true ? I was going to google it but it would only worry me if it has :lol:

 

NASA are trying to put people's minds at rest though

 

http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html

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:lol::lol: Maybe.... :wink:

 

Must admit I don't even know who they were apart from the fact they had a 'calendar' so maybe I do need to google later :oops:

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Think they lived around the Yucatan Penn (Mexico) and were wiped out by some extreme enviromental event, then superceded by the Aztecs? :?

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So they didn't see that one coming then :wink:

 

If the word does end do you think we will all finish up in the same 'new' place? I guess we wont really as it may be grumps one way and nicies the other of course.

 

Shame to split us all really but hey it's been nice talking to you obs :P:lol:

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Yes please.... I'd like to know where I really stand before the word goes to pot :lol:

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Just googled the Mayans Diz: seems (according to "the experts") that their demise came about through over-population, over exploitation of natural resources and extensive warfare - so perhaps there's a lesson there after all?! :wink:

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Flipping heck another freak of nature yesterday....

 

The deadliest single twister (tornado) in 60 years hit Missour in the US yesterday. It was half a mile wide and wiped out the town :cry:

 

A lot of photo's of the damage and chaos it caused below and over 100 people are so far known to have lost their lives (PJ take note !!)

 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1389737/Joplin-MO-tornado-At-89-dead-twister-cuts-4-mile-swathe-Missouri-town.html#ixzz1NGj1jf2U

 

Floods, Earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tornado's... what next...

 

Oh yes we (the UK) are going to have a very hot summer similar to 2003 and people and animals are expected to die, water will run out, crops will be ruined, roads surfaces will become dangerous and I can't remember what else... probably best not to worry though as since when has the UK weather forcast been right

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"Floods; earthquakes; volcano's erupting"

 

The rest of the night should be fine and dry.

 

Worrying is good for you. 95% of the things we worry about never happen.

 

Happy days

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At least the global warming theory is losing support, so they won't be blaming that.

 

Perhaps good old Britain, is not such a bad place to live. Mother Nature only teases the UK. :wink:

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Just to annoy Observer, but I think a proper Born-Again Evangelical Christian perspective is BADLY needed here. I scoff at the fact that both Harold Camping's idiot followers are bewildered now and need counselling, while Atheists misuse this to attack Christians generally and even in some cases advocate persecution!

 

It's devastatingly simple. If you don't believe, the world will end in 5 billion years' time when the Sun swells out. (Which incidentally gives Christianity 5 billion years to prove itself.)

 

If you ARE a Christian, aha, there IS NO DATE.

 

Pretty clear-cut and devastatingly simple.

 

Jesus said HE didn't know, never mind the angels. No-one knows the day or the hour. (Matthew 24:36) (See also Matthew 24:44. In fact a careful study of Matthew chapters 24 and 25 is reasonable, as well as comparing it with the older account of the speech in Mark 13.)

 

Now I've had smart-alecs say to me, "But Andrew, He didn't exclude year or century!"

 

Sorry, Acts 1 has that cornered too. Jesus told His disciples that the dates and times were set by His Father's authority and are not for us to know. [Acts 1:7-8]

 

And Paul repeated the point 17 years later. He even paraphrases Jesus' words about Him coming like a thief in the night (see Matthew 24:42-44). (1 Thessalonians 5:1-2.)

 

As for the afterlife being made up to keep the peasants in their place, actually, the afterlife is all about living right in THIS life. (See Luke 16:19-31)

 

I see the old fool has now claimed it was October 21 all along, not May 21. Idiot.

 

For proper mainstream Bible teachers' and scholars' perspectives on this, see:

 

http://blogs.bible.org/bock/darrell_l._bock/thoughts_on_predicting_the_end

 

http://www.patheos.com/community/bibleandculture/2011/05/18/why-you-shouldnt-go-camping-on-may-21rst/

 

http://www.aomin.org/aoblog/index.php?itemid=4645

 

http://www.aomin.org/aoblog/index.php?itemid=4647

 

But the old fool rambles on:

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13516796

 

But I'll stick to Jesus' advice:

 

Matthew 24:23-28. He warned the disciples that nutters would do exactly as Camping has done.

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I had to scroll right to do an edit!

 

 

Oh, and here are some of my facebook jokes and comments on the Big Day:

 

I do so wish certain so-called Christians would STOP

disobeying the Bible's clear teaching that we are not to know the day or the hour or the time and date of the Lord's return. :o/

 

I've had smart-alecs try to misuse the words 'day and hour' to prove that Jesus did not exclude knowing the year and month.

Sorry, Jesus covers that base in Acts 1. 'Times and dates' are also excluded. :oP Nice try, but no cigar.

 

(Friend messaging me): It won't matter come Saturday. Either you'll be raptured or left wondering what happened. :P

 

;o) And you'll be thinking that the Rapture has just ruined a perfectly good church roof. LOL

 

ME: You suggesting I'm going to Hell, Mr. Y? :oP

 

(Friend Mr. Y): Read it how you like. Either way something is going to happen. :)

 

ME: Egg on Camping's face and Atheist fools misusing this to 'prove' that the Bible is false. And us throwing custard pies at them and each other. Hope you can aim as far as Belfast! ;o)

 

(Mr Y): I should see if I can hire a bomber and just drop them all over Belfast! :)

 

The trick is finding enough custard pies to drop!

 

ME: Yeah. Mr. Kipling's are a bit expensive. :o(

 

(Mr. Y): Wouldn't know, never heard of those.

 

ME: G and H have been doing a lot of egg work, perhaps they can arrange something... ;o)

 

You'll see Mr. Kipling's stuff in Tesco's. His Angel slices are nice. Small Appie pies, Blackcurrant and Custard- delicious, I could go on...

 

Mr. Kipling makes exceedingly good cakes. So the adverts used to say.

 

(Mr. Y): I'll have to keep my eyes open for those sometime.

 

ME: Yep. But make it quick- Sunday's only 3 days away!

 

(Mr. Y): Meh, I probably still be here! :P

 

ME: Poor you.

 

A bomber over Belfast, eh? We have enough of those IN Belfast! :oP

 

Mr. Y: Bomber aircraft: as in B52, B2 Stealth Bomber. Maybe I can deploy a drone....

 

ME: I know, I'm just twisting your words, a bit like Harold Camping does with the Bible. He'd find a spiritual code in B52 or B2 though.

 

(Mr. Y likes this comment.)

 

ME: Talking of drones, we have plenty of those over here as well...

 

[some more jokes and spoof news reports:

 

Yep, the more I think about it, with all this 2012 lark, and the Mayans, and Harold Camping, etc., I really do understand why on ancient Mexican calendars the Mexican gods stick their tongues out! :oD :oP

 

Apparently Atheists are setting up a dog rescue service.

 

I see Atheists are misusing Harold Camping's nutty prediction to mock Jesus, Paul and the Bible.

I think I know one of them personally.

It's like watching two people in giant clown outfits from "It's A Knockout" on two spinning wet wheels falling all over the place trying to do Mexican wrestling!

 

Now all we need is Stuart Hall going, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

So this is the last day ever. Well, at least not since last time, and not until 31 December 2012! Expect a misplaced Atheist Gloat-Fest tomorrow.

 

Blimey, just went into an Atheist Facebook page. Felt my IQ plummeting at the sight of the comments. :oD

One wants to make May 22 the official Laugh at Christianity Day, and another one says, "Please may there be a Christian mass-suicide! Please may there be a Christian mass-suicide! #Crosses fingers#"

 

Another person says that if there are suicides then religions should be held accountable (i.e. persecution), and they expect Christians to launch Operation Back-Pedal on May 22. Idiots! ;o)

 

How about Operation "No-one Knows"?

 

I'm thinking of the Atheist fools who all think somehow the forthcoming disproof of Harold Camping's ludicrous prophecy is their final victory over Christianity!

 

That's why I declare the Atheist gloat as Operation Packet of Puddings!

 

Oh, and another thing. God promised Abraham that his PHYSICAL descendants would be as many as the stars in the sky, as the grains of sand on the seashore. Given that there are only 13 million Jews on the planet, and I don't know how many more Arabs, think about it. And Ezekiel tells us that the municipal boundary of Jerusalem stretches in the future right to the Mediterranean coast. That suggests a future super-Jerusalem which grows further and further and further west.

That means Jesus might not even return for the next 70 000 years! :oD (And no, I'm not pinning down a date for the Second Coming!)

Though I am amused to note for comparison's sake that in Buddhist eschatology (yes, that's surprising, given that they believe in reincarnation, Samsara the wheel of change and illusion, and nothing is real) that their promised Lord Maitreya, the next great Buddha, will come in AD 30 000 and successfully preach the Dharma to the world, convert all of humanity to Buddhism and that will be the end of humanity in nirvana.

Not that Buddhism's ideas on the future are of any relevance. ;o) :oP

 

I wonder were Christian air pilots banned from flying in aeroplanes today?

 

Did insurance companies force churches to pay higher amounts today in case their rooves ended up with holes in them?

 

Here is the (spoof) news: the Dead Sea and all sources of fire, brimstone (sulphur to us moderns) and bitumen have been sealed off by the Israeli and Jordanian Governments, and various other agencies round the world, just in case.

Not to mention firecrackers, flares and matches, and other such sundry equipment.

 

News just in- Harold Camping has just been arrested by police for stealing thousands of cans of helium to fake the Rapture in case he is proved wrong. The arrest was made easy when the Fire Department were called in order to rescue him from a tree. The problem was, when he phoned, the Fire Department mistook him for a female child instead of an old man.

Honestly, you can't get the staff these days...

 

I'm feeling unusually high at the moment- that's worrying.

 

(DM): You've been left behind.

 

ME: Frank Peretti has just sent you a letter suing you. Oh wait- he's disappeared.

 

DM: Do you mean Tim Lahaye and Jerry Jenkins? I actually had in mind the old Larry

Norman song, re-done by dc Talk about 15 years ago.

 

ME: I wish we'd all been ready... for this prediction not coming true.

 

Another report indicates an unusual amount of magicians entering churches at the moment.

 

Scientists at the LHC in France and Switzerland have been sent to churches to investigate anti-gravity in order to find a cheaper way to find the Higgs-Boson, the 'God' particle. Rumours have abounded that non-Camping churches, i.e. believe that no-one knows the day or the hour or times and dates when their Lord will come, are also being investigated, because of their unusually high levels of levity.

 

Humanist Associations are also, but Atheists stoned the scientists because they were offended.

They claimed that no, the real reason was because the scientists really were Creationists.

Christians say the Atheists are full of hot air anyway, and that would be the real reason for their danger of rising up, as well as being light headed, as well as being in danger of being enraptured at Camping's failure. Unusually high levels of helium have also been detected.

 

The LHC people are really annoyed if this venture fails, because their next opportunity isn't until 31 December 2012. If THAT fails, the costs of finding the Higgs-Boson 'God' particle will be $9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

999999

 

News from the Pacific Ocean coming in. All the ships near the International Date Line are in trouble.

Everyone is in suspense as 21 May is happening twice. All the Christian sailors have been relieved of their duties. There is chaos as the confusion has led to delays in the crossing ceremonies for newbies.

As a consequence Father Neptune's been getting frustrated and has got into trouble for pricking too many newbies with his trident, and has been thrown overboard. Some think he's been raptured.

Others object, saying, "Why on Earth would God rapture Neptune?" Others say "Neptune's a planet, you twit!"

Atheists have placards saying, "We're only Atheistic about 2, sorry 1, more god than you are!" Atheists are complaining about religious violence.

Apparently giant forks have been stuck on their posteriors. Astronomers now are protesting that Atheists don't believe in planets.

Disney fans have placards complaining that astronomers don't believe in Pluto.

 

Judging by comments about the new volcanic activity on Iceland, people are now mocking Christianity at EVERY opportunity thanks to Harold Camping's buffoonery.

Basically there are idiots who think that the events of the weekend were the final nail in Christianity's coffin. Absurd

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Magic.... you appear to have made the forum with twice as wide Goonerman :lol: I can't read your posts without scrolling right,left,right,left, down, right, left...

 

I think I now have motion sickness :lol:

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I'll try an edit. It's not the end of the world, though, if I fail.

 

Done. Still looks odd, though.

 

Hello stranger, are you back across the water, or still down in the Big City hoping your team might win something. Nice to see you dropping in. :wink:

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Sorry, Obbs, beat you to it. You really need to catch up. :lol:

 

What also amuses me is this phrase "The End of the World." Actually, having read the Greek, it should really be, "The End of the Age." Big, colossal, difference. But then that's what happens when an old buffoon like Camping doesn't bother to learn the original Biblical languages. Or at least get himself some decent commentaries and a couple of lexicons. :roll:

 

(And you don't even need those to know that no date or calculations of a date are given. Indeed that knowledge is explicitly forbidden by Jesus' express, plain and direct command.)

 

That's why, on occasions when a Christian friend starts saying confidently that Jesus will return within the next 30 years, or in 2 weeks' time, or this is the final century, I fall on them like a ton of bricks verbally. We're commanded NOT to speculate or know. End of.

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Camping is reported feeling "so terrible when his doomsday prediction did not come true that he left home and took refuge in a motel with his wife".

 

What would he have done if he had been right :lol:

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