Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Lt Kije

Banned from the co-op

Recommended Posts

Banned from the co-op

 

Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn?t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

 

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

 

I'm now banned from the Co-op.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So very true. Somehow we've avoided dog food jokes in this country -- but cat food jokes are very big. The political commission studying Social Security is now known as the Cat Food Commission, headed by former Senator Alan Simpson of Wyoming. You may have heard his comment that Social Security is a cow with 310 million teats. He's extremely well off, due to many terms in the Senate.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...