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Eagle

Balance

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven God went missing for six days.

 

Eventually, Archangel Michael found

him on the seventh day resting.

 

He enquired of God, 'Where have you

been?'

 

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked

puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

 

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it.

I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

 

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

 

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

 

'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor.

 

The Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a

cold spot.

 

Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over

there is a continent of black people.'

 

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

 

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

 

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

 

'Ah,' said God. That's Manchester, the most glorious place on earth.

 

There are beautiful people, the greatest Premiership football teams, it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians.

 

The people from Manchester are going to be modest, intelligent and

humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world.

 

They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,

 

'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting at the other end of the East Lancs Road'.

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Just reminded me Eagle. Hope you don't mind me tagging this one on.

 

In the very beginning when God first created the earth, first of all he created all the rivers and lakes.

Then he had a rest

Then he created all the trees and bushes.

Then he had a rest.

Then he created all the flowers.

Then he had a rest

Next he created all the birds, bees, and insects.

Then he had a rest.

Next he created all the little bunny rabbits and other animals.

Then he had a rest.

Then he created all the fishes to go in the seas and lakes.

Then he had a rest.

Next he created Man

Then he had a rest

 

Finally he created Woman.

And man has never had a days rest since.

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Eagle that was soooo funny :lol:

Wingy... so was yours (although It took a lot for me to admit it :lol::wink: )

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven God went missing for six days...

 

You sound like you are a racist and probably dislike people with different coloured skin too!....I thought this kind of humour was left in the 70's? and not acceptable in the Warrington-Worldwide Forum?

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven God went missing for six days...

 

You sound like you are a racist and probably dislike people with different coloured skin too!....I thought this kind of humour was left in the 70's? and not acceptable in the Warrington-Worldwide Forum?

 

Can you explain your comment aview?

 

Humour is alive and kicking despite PC and alternative comedy.

One thing that is not acceptable, is someone trying to start a flame war. (which I am sure that your not).

If you feel that there is a problem with anyone's posts, please feel free to PM any of the moderators.

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven God went missing for six days...

 

You sound like you are a racist and probably dislike people with different coloured skin too!....I thought this kind of humour was left in the 70's? and not acceptable in the Warrington-Worldwide Forum?

 

Surely, not another immigrant from Liverpool? :roll::roll:

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Can you explain your comment aview?

 

Humour is alive and kicking despite PC and alternative comedy.

One thing that is not acceptable, is someone trying to start a flame war. (which I am sure that your not).

If you feel that there is a problem with anyone's posts, please feel free to PM any of the moderators.

 

Thank you Peter T for replying to my comment.

 

I was trying to point out that insults disguised as jokes

are not always acceptable to everyone, and I am sure that

our neighbours, friends or family on both sides of the M62,

would find such a comment/joke? Offensive?

 

Having been a forum member for a very short while, maybe not

for much longer? are there are hidden house rules that I do not know about? Or is insulting other forum members or people who are not from Warrington acceptable? Or am I being too sensitive. I too like a good joke, but it is important not to offend others, or are we heading back to the 70?s once more?

 

Look forward to your reply with interest.

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I guess it's your choice whether you stay or leave. Either way, what you are concerned about is called banter, and more importantly, "football banter". We live in a real world were people take the mick out of each other. NOT a PC world. If you are looking for a world were people don't get upset by things, good luck in your search.

Once you start going down that route, no-one would post. We couldn't criticise the council or the planners in case we upset them.

The council and government upset me every day. :roll:

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aview

Well i have to agree withthe rest its harmless banter that is accepted on the forum, they take the mickey out of scousers and abuse us something rotten, we do the same to the mancs.

 

I wouldnt worry about it too muc its just a bit of fun and no harm is meant to anyone no matter what race or creed they may or maynot be..

 

 

regards

 

Steve

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