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Wingnut

The Problem With Getting Old

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Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

 

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

 

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

 

'Sure.'

 

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

 

'No, I can remember it.'

 

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so you don't forget it?'

 

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

 

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

 

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

 

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,

 

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says.

 

'Where's my toast ?'

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Two elderly ladies in the rest room of a nursing home having a quiet game of bridge. When in walks this old chap and starts doing cartwheels, handstands and pressups in front of them.

 

Oooh you're fit for your age aren't you? says one of the elderly ladies.

 

I certainly am said the old bloke. I work out like this everyday. Do you know how old I am?

 

 

No said one of the old girls. But if you pull your pants down and jump up and down on the spot, I think we could tell you your age.

 

 

So the elderly gent pulls his pants down and begins to jump about.

 

76 said one of the old ladies.

 

That's fantastic, I am 76 said the old man, but how did you know?

 

We were at your birthday party last night.

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Two ladies of a certain age werehaving their weekly high tea in their local cafe. They known each other for over 60 years since school.

 

First lady, "I feel very embarrassed but would you mind reminding me what your name is ?"

 

Second lady, after a few moments thought "How soon do you need to know?"

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In the newspaper it said:

 

"Please look after your neighbours in the cold weather".

 

Not once has my 87 year old neighbour come round to check if I`m alright.... She's that lazy she hasn`t even taken her milk in for 2 weeks!!!

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