observer Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Seems we're reduced to a load of blubbering, hugging wimps - bit like the x-factor! If we had to rely on such folk in our A&E Depts, Emergency Services or Military - they wouldn't be able to get the job done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted December 12, 2008 Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 Moral and intellectual perfection? Obs, you should be quite chuffed to be a stoic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 Very Good Post Kate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocky Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 I think its a nice thing to allow people to be able to remember loved ones especially at christmas,i couldnt think of life without my kids to go on would be virtually impossible...its part of the grieving process not a sick tradition,some people really amaze me in what they say...if it helps the grieving in any way,let them do it .pretty much i agree with gary...well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavyG Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 Very Good Post Kate! Kate  I can remember when Archbishop of Canterbury Robert Runcie, prayed for the Argentinian dead at the Falklands war memorial service at Westminster Abbey - the Government of the day kicked up merry hell - so much for a rememberance service then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 still I suppose it keeps the clergy in a job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 I have just got back from the annual rememberance service for bereaved families at the Parish Church.  It was a truly moving occassion and really did put some of the issues on this forum into context. _________________ I have re-evaluated my position and come to the conclusion that my position has been re-evaluated  Kev - I do understand where your coming from Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted December 15, 2008 Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 Rocky, nobody on here as said that people need to "be allowed to grieve"; grief is a natural emotion following loss, what I personally dislike is the encouragement to grieve and to grieve in public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goonerman Posted December 24, 2008 Report Share Posted December 24, 2008 Given Obbs' cowardly way of shafting people who are victims to save his own neck, like his slagging off of the 7/7 victims which I rugby tackled him about, I think his tone would change very quickly if he or someone really really close to him got threatened. Â May that day never come. Of course. Â Obbs doesn't get it that grieving is precisely about getting over it, coming to terms, then moving on. It's a process, with a beginning, middle and end, with the motive of moving on and knowing what it is about and setting up charities to eliminate the problem which caused the death and injury and hurt, which is intensely practical. True Stoicism lies with those who grieve and are strong. He who loves little grieves little. For loss of companionship is very painful. As for me, some people have been afraid to show me pictures of Mum which I have never seen before, but are pleasantly surprised to see me grinning from ear to ear at the sight of them. Gives me a kick. Â I always smile and laugh at Mum's final words on her deathbed at our last meeting. She was coming in and out of sleep, she was so tired, more tired than I had ever seen anyone. Â She whispered, "I'm sorry if I have not been sufficiently entertaining!" Â BRILLIANT! Â The nurses told me she was whispering jokes to them like 5 minutes before she died. Â And as for the look on the face of her corpse- Â Joy, peace, and relief, a huge smile. Rest at last. Â But be warned, Obbs. The clergy's job isn't just to comfort, but to frighten with warnings of God's judgement on the uncaring. One of these days I'll post Jonathan Edward's infamous "Sinners In the Hands Of An Angry God," one of the scariest piece of oratory in human history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nparker Posted February 12, 2009 Report Share Posted February 12, 2009 Bereaved families will continue to be bereaved as long as there are organisations who encourage them to stay bereaved. It is much better to stop reminding people that they should be grieving. Â I had to respond to this message. I could hardly believe what I was reading. Â My child died in 2001 at the age of eleven. I wake up every day knowing that I will never see her again. I will feel that loss until the day I die. Â I live a normal live. I go to work. I do a good job. I enjoy going out and having a drink with friends. I keep fit. I carry on. Â Organisations don't remind me that I am bereaved, I don't need reminding that I am bereaved. The fact is I am and always will be bereaved. Â I think unless you have experienced the loss of a child you should keep your ignorant views to yourself. Â Whatever happened to compassion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateoflymm Posted February 13, 2009 Report Share Posted February 13, 2009 Bereaved families will continue to be bereaved as long as there are organisations who encourage them to stay bereaved. It is much better to stop reminding people that they should be grieving. Â I had to respond to this message. I could hardly believe what I was reading. Â My child died in 2001 at the age of eleven. I wake up every day knowing that I will never see her again. I will feel that loss until the day I die. Â I live a normal live. I go to work. I do a good job. I enjoy going out and having a drink with friends. I keep fit. I carry on. Â Organisations don't remind me that I am bereaved, I don't need reminding that I am bereaved. The fact is I am and always will be bereaved. Â I think unless you have experienced the loss of a child you should keep your ignorant views to yourself. Â Whatever happened to compassion? Â Â I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you have gone through but, none the less, I care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted February 13, 2009 Report Share Posted February 13, 2009 Suggest you peddle your supersticion elsewhere Gman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disgusted Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 Suggest you peddle your supersticion elsewhere Gman. Let me first state that I have no time whatsoever for religion of any shade, or the grief culture best displayed by the scousers. However, this thread is not about either of those subjects per se, but about a special service for those who have suffered a close loss, and hence until this morning had never actually opened it before.  There was no need whatsoever for you to post your unpalatable views here, your posts in particular in this thread are absolutely reprehensible, and to follow them with winks and rolly eyes is absolutely disgusting.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
demelzadoe Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 A quote of John Lennon I think is in order:- Â "Whatever gets you through" Â I have not lost a child, however I did spend five days thinking that I had. I was grateful that tears of relief was all it took. If the outcome had been devastating then I would have used whatever worked. Misserising, group therapy, memorial services, crying in my beer. 'Whatever got me through' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 Yer'll just have to get over it Fats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disgusted Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 Yer'll just have to get over it Fats! No skin off my nose, just makes you look like a complete fool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nparker Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 To Kateoflymm, thank you. Â All I want to say it life is very difficult without my daughter but I get on with it. I do whatever I can to get through the day. Â If I've learned anything these last eight years it's that you shouldn't criticise or judge anyone for the decisions and choices they make. They may not do what you would do but just because you disagree doesn't make you right and them wrong. Â Try to imagine life without your child. You think you can but I'm telling you you can't imagine it. I wouldn't wish the pain on anyone. So for the more impatient of you out there reading this, take this advice, try not to be so judgemental of what others do in order to carry on with their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 ..... and I'm really bovvered about your opinion Fats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve the Original Posted February 15, 2009 Report Share Posted February 15, 2009 I was going to delete some of the post?s on here as i find them to be somewhat disturbing to say the least but i am going to leave them on for the moment.. Â Obs i am very dissapointed with you i thought you were far better than the post?s you have made on this thread sofar, i thought you had a better attitude towards others and their feelings... Â I would ask posters to please take a step back and think before they post on this thread, its a subject that should be met with the utmost of respect for others. Â Everyone grieves in their own way and we should remember and respect that is their right.. Â Â Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted February 15, 2009 Report Share Posted February 15, 2009 Steve, if you delete any post because you find them disturbing then you will be bang out of order. Â Better to find out why it took me three minutes to make this post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve the Original Posted February 15, 2009 Report Share Posted February 15, 2009 For your info Eagle,if any are deleted it will be because i have had 3 PMs regarding this thread and if i decide to remove any post than rest assured it need not concern you or anyone else, its not your decision and i do not require your permission to do so.. Â Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tara_dad Posted February 15, 2009 Report Share Posted February 15, 2009 Eagle What Steve is talking about a reports that he received that was a comment which was left on one of the replies was not suitable for the forum that?s all , censorship is not used unless an offence under the forum rules. The poster themselves realised that and changed the post to a suitable reply. but I am sure Steve will explain for him self the forum rules Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tara_dad Posted February 15, 2009 Report Share Posted February 15, 2009 snap steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disgusted Posted February 15, 2009 Report Share Posted February 15, 2009 EagleWhat Steve is talking about a reports that he received that was a comment which was left on one of the replies was not suitable for the forum that?s all , censorship is not used unless an offence under the forum rules. The poster themselves realised that and changed the post to a suitable reply. but I am sure Steve will explain for him self the forum rules Probably best not to make assumptions then TD. I changed nothing in my post, I assume Steve has changed the last word of my reply to Observer. Â However it is pretty clear from Steve's post above, that Observer's posts have been very close to crossing a line, personally I think they crossed it by a mile, there was simply no need at all to post what he has. Â If what I posted caused offence to you or anyone, then god knows what the hell you're missing in the rest of the thread, because it's offensive from the moment Observer opens his gob. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tara_dad Posted February 15, 2009 Report Share Posted February 15, 2009 I have seen you come back with more intelligent answers than that. Probably best not to make assumptions that you would use your intellect to make your point. Â so i am sorry for assuming you would. Â most of us hae been near to crossing the line? but at times so have you and me. but I hope this will put an end to it now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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