kevofaz25 Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 I have just got back from the annual rememberance service for bereaved families at the Parish Church. It was a truly moving occassion and really did put some of the issues on this forum into context. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Bereaved families will continue to be bereaved as long as there are organisations who encourage them to stay bereaved. It is much better to stop reminding people that they should be grieving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazj Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Absolutely correct Eagle.... stop greiving and start living again otherwise you will grieve and be bitter and twisted forever. Life really is too short. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Thought it was going to be longer for you Baz?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P J Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Thought it was going to be longer for you Baz?! If you live to a hundred its still too short. Knowingly lessening your chance of a long and healthy life is stupidity Observer. Anyway back on topic, my opinion is it is not for anyone but the bereaved person/s to decide how and for how long to grieve, folk are different the world over. Some people never get over the death of a loved one and others shut it out, I for one will not knock organisations there for people in a time of great need, if they can help ease the suffering in any way it can't be a bad thing. To say that people will continue to be bereaved as long as they are encouraged to be by these organisations is frankly nonsense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithR Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Grief is normal, persisting grief is not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Past generations just had to get over it and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kateoflymm Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Grief is very personal and we all deal with it in different ways. I lost my husband very suddenly, to a horrible illness, over 12 years ago. I don't outwardly grieve, I learned to live with it, but I still feel the loss even though I have built a different life. If those who have suffered the tragic loss of loved ones want to commemorate them in that way who the hell has the right to say that is wrong? Life still goes on, for the families, even while there is some public reminder. Should we say that Remembrance Day ceremonies are wrong because we should have "moved on"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Grief is normal, persisting grief is not I could not contemplate ever getting over losing a loved one, especially a child. Yes life must go on but the grief would always remain. I hope I never have to experience it. Anyone who can not understand that people grieve in different ways is not normal! I think it is very moving that there is a special co-ordinated church event for those who wish to share their grief or private thoughts in common with others who have experienced similar tragedies in their lives. Long may it continue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 If they are sharing private thoughts they are no longer private! Death is a fact of life, early death unfortunately does happen but organisations that encourage the bereaved to prolong their grief are parasites feeding on donations. Both my parents died, one early one not. I remember them with love and affection on their anniversries and countless other times when little things bring back memories. I do not need help by anyone to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 With you Eag on this one, nowadays too many folk wear their hearts (some without sincerity) on their sleeves. Kate, I think we don't remember the dead as such on rememberance day, but the sacrificed they made on our behalf, hopefully to build a better world worthy of their sacrifice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 I do not need help by anyone to do so. So everyone has to be the same as you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Not at all but I have an opinion which is just as valid on this or any other forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Not at all but I have an opinion which is just as valid on this or any other forum. So in your opinion people are not allowed to cope with their grief in a way most appropriate to them? If that is the case you are not allowing them to have an opinion/freedom of choice. Perhaps you and obs should have an iron curtain built across Warrington! On one side in the free world we will allow people to have the freedom to show their grief - in the other you and obs can dictate to people how they should live their lives. No one is forcing you to attend these events which are designed to help people cope with their grief, so why do you feel the need to comment on it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trojan Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Not sure what the argument is about. It's a personal choice to comment on it as it is a personal choice to choose to go to a service Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Good grief - how would we have survived the blitz with this lot?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Has an official 'Party Line' been introduced to the Forum? It would be very sad if the only opinions that are allowed are those that coincide with the Owner's personal view. Would you also point out where I said "people are not allowed to cope with their grief in a way most appropriate to them" and " dictate to people how they should live their lives". My comments are aimed at the grief industry not the grieving, perhaps you should actually read the bloody posts before commenting on their content. I find your comments towards Obs and myself quite tasteless and unbecoming of someone with your 'holier than thou' attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 My comments are aimed at the grief industry not the grieving, perhaps you should actually read the bloody posts before commenting on their content. Again you are bang out of order! How dare you suggest that a local service provided freely by a local church is in the business of the grief industry. How on earth can this be part of the grief industry you are so uptight about? Perhaps you should look at the subject line of a topic before you start spouting off with your poison venom. As the owner of this site I will not tolerate the near anti-social ramblings of the mindless minority who deliberately try and create bad feeling by doing such things as devaluing a well organised and well respected event in our town where people who have suffered the loss of loved ones, including young children, in tragic circumstances. I find it very sad that people who are regulars on this forum have to stoop so low when there is absolutely no need. If anyone other than the regular "lets have a go at Gary" brigade feel I am wrong to have such an opinion about what goes on I will back down gracefully and let you continue to preach your somewhat surprising beliefs. Can I suggest if you feel so strongly about these events involving people out pouring their grief that you attend the next one, waving a placard decrying their actions and lets see how long you last! No doubt you would suffer some real grief! Or I could arrange a public debate on the issue with you and Obs on the main platform. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfie Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 As the owner of this site I will not tolerate the near anti-social ramblings of the mindless minority who deliberately try and create bad feeling You seem to pick and choose who you tolerate. If you were consistent in your views you would gain more credibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter T Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 It's rather poor taste when topics like this get crucified by unfeeling posters. You don't know who reads the posts, or how vulnerable they might be. A comment or opinion isn't a problem, but it has become more than that. So give it a rest guys. Think of others as well as yourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Gary, even though it seems to help in getting your point across will you stop quoting me on words I have not used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Some of you really need to grow up and stop picking arguments just for the sake of it wether you agree with the service or not As stated in the very first posting it was a REMEMBERANCE SERVICE... and if people want to go ro remember someone they have lost then that is their choice in the same way as if they don't go then that is their choice too. Everyone has a different way of dealing with loss of a loved one, maybe that is through a church, in a group, with family, alone or maybe they just try to forget or pretend it's not real.... but whichever way it's upto them. I'm not sticking up for anyone or taking sides but having read through the comments I really don't think there is any need for many of the comments which have subsequently been made and arguing and making snide comments about each others and their views is actually rather pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
observer Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Whatever happened to stoicism? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P J Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Whatever happened to stoicism? Perhaps it went out of the same window as your compassion Observer?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizzy Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Whatever happened to stoicism? Never heard of it so looked it up... The stoics considered passionate emotions to be the result of errors in judgment, and that a sage, or person of "moral and intellectual perfection," would not have such emotions..... Didn't bother reading a lot further as it seems to apply to a society of robots who are programmed not to have or show any feelings, emotions, memories, feel no love love or sadness or indeed anything else that is human nature. Are you a stoic Obs and where is your off switch Stop trying to wind people up and show some respect for those who want to remember or grieve in their own way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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