How daft does it have to get?

[observer]

Don't worry Paul women and gays will latch on to this one in due course, then they'll be paying even more of our money out.

[Paul Kennedy]

Problem is I do Observer and I sense you do as well, 'cos we are running out of money fast.

[observer]

Unfortunately, if a Government does not know to which port it is sailing; no wind is favourable.

[Paul Kennedy]

Daily Mail:

 

Four times Alan January stood at the bus-stop waving at the driver to pick him up. And four times the bus went straight past without even slowing down.

 

 

But when he wrote a letter of complaint, he received a reply explaining that it was all his fault. He was giving the wrong kind of wave.

 

"The bus company said I'd been waving my hand around and my arm should be outstretched," said 51-year-old Mr January, a walking tour guide from St Mawes, Cornwall.

 

"Really, it shouldn't matter. The fact that I'm at the bus stop should alert them to the fact I'm waiting for the bus."

[wolfie]

"Really, it shouldn't matter. The fact that I'm at the bus stop should alert them to the fact I'm waiting for the bus."

That would mean on Friday and Saturday nights buses stopping at every bus stop to pick up a load of drunk kids

[Paul Kennedy]

"The golden rule of getting away with a bigamous wedding must be this: Don't invite anyone who was there the first time round.

 

Sadly, this small yet crucial detail escaped Randolf Edge, 54, in his haste to marry a woman 33 years his junior.

 

A guest who had also been at his first wedding tipped off King's Lynn Register Office in Norfolk."

 

Suppose it could have been posted in the St Valentine's topic.

 

Daily Mail

 

PS I notice the maximum sentence for bigamy is seven years.....many marriages don't last that long.

 

[ 13.02.2008, 07:53: Message edited by: Paul Kennedy ]

[observer]

Do many bother with marriage nowadays?

[observer]

Thought I'd add this to the "how daft file": A guy who has stabbed a robber to death with the robber's knife, during an attack by the robber; could possibly face a murder charge - Jeez, he should be given a medal for taking this scum out.

 

[ 19.02.2008, 23:34: Message edited by: observer ]

[harry hayes]

And on the same news bulletin. Trafford hospital is several million pounds in debt. they are axing 210 jobs; closing two wards; and two operating theatres.

 

Bad thing? Apparently not. "it will enable us to give better care to fewer patients"

What a super wheeze. Wonder why they don,t get rid of more staff, etc. and give even better care to fewer......

 

Happy days

[observer]

My thoughts exactly Haz, when I saw it - they must think Joe Public are absolutely dense - errm well; maybe we are for allowing it?

[Paul Kennedy]

Was going to create a new post entitled "Pocket Billiards"...thought better of it :

 

From today's Guardian:

 

In a landmark judgement with far-reaching social implications, Italy's highest appeals court has ruled it is a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public.

 

The judges of the court of cassation stressed that the ban did not just apply to brazen crotch-scratching, but also to what might be termed superstitious pre-emption. Anyone who has seen a hearse go past in Italy, or been part of a discussion in which some terrible illness or disaster is mentioned, will know it is traditional for men to ward off bad luck with a quick grab at what are delicately called their "attributi".

 

The practice has become increasingly frowned on, but "io mi tocco i ? ", which translates as "I touch my ? " is still a common phrase, roughly equivalent to "fingers crossed". The judges helpfully suggested that those seeking reassurance should wait till they had returned to the privacy of their own homes before letting their hands stray trouser-wards.

 

The court was ruling on the appeal of an unnamed 42-year-old workman from Como near Milan. In May 2006, he was convicted of indecent behaviour for "ostentatiously touching his genitals through his clothing". His lawyer said it was merely a "compulsive, involuntarily movement, probably to adjust his overalls".

 

The third penal division of the Rome court was having none of it. It said that public genital-patting "has to be regarded as an act contrary to public decency, a concept including that nexus of socio-ethical behavioural rules requiring everyone to abstain from conduct potentially offensive to collectively-held feelings of decorum".

 

The judges said such actions risked generating "awkwardness, disgust and disapproval in the average man", unexpectedly perhaps failing to mention the average woman.

 

The workman was ordered to pay a ?200 fine and ?1000 costs.

[Paul Kennedy]

PFI Schemes:

 

This from today's Guardian:

 

Billions of pounds of private finance initiative projects approved by Gordon Brown, including the refurbished Treasury headquarters in Whitehall and the new Home Office, have been moved offshore by their City owners to avoid paying tax on their profits.

 

More than 50 PFI schemes have now been included in portfolios held in Channel Islands tax havens by three major PFI investment companies, HSBC Infrastructure, 3i Infrastructure and Babcock and Brown Public Partnerships.

 

Once the buildings have been completed, up to 90% of the ownership of the UK-registered company running the PFI is transferred to the companies which are based in the tax havens. This means that the income and profits from running the PFIs will be free of UK tax for up to 40 years, depending on the duration of the PFI.

[observer]

So the British tax-payer will be paying these fat-cats for the next 40 years, and the fat-cats won't even be paying tax on it?

[observer]

Seems the Government are offering ?3,000 to foreign nationals in our prisons - to go home?!

[Paul Kennedy]

Daily Mail...not only daft but disgraceful if true....we should all be proud of our armed services, they are tasked with very difficult work...not of their own making:

 

RAF personnel have been ordered not to wear their uniforms in public after incidents of verbal abuse on the streets.

 

Troops at RAF Wittering in Peterborough have been told to keep a low profile after taking advice from RAF police.

[observer]

We always wore civvies, when out on the Town, so what's the prob?!

[Steve the Original]

Originally posted by observer:

We always wore civvies, when out on the Town, so what's the prob?!

So very true Obs,i have had this happen to me personaly, just before the Falklands i was told i wasnt welcome in my local in uniform but when the Falklands started i was getting free drinks at that very same local....

This always happens when people start to forget that we were doing a dirty job that they wouldnt or couldnt do themselves..

 

We were Heros when needed and baby killers when not..

 

Steve

[Eagle]

Instead of the wimpess Group Captain issuing her no uniform edict she should have issued a more succinct order "Abuse,sort it!"

 

[ 08.03.2008, 15:18: Message edited by: Eagle ]

[observer]

Seems someone's playing games: one incident which occured over 12months ago gave rise to an "advice" note from the Station CO.

[Jackored7]

From the BBC.

 

Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat

 

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

 

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

 

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

 

Mr Alifi, of Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.

 

"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."

 

Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.

 

"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

 

fantastic justice.

[Eddie]

You're 'kidding'

[Paul Kennedy]

Daily Mail:

 

"Blundering police officers put a group of illegal immigrants on a train, gave each of them free tickets and told them to make their way to a detention centre 80 miles away under their own steam.

 

Unsurprisingly, none of the nine reported to the centre and all nine disappeared on their journey from Cambridge to Croydon.

 

But police have defended their actions, claiming they were only acting on the advice of immigration officials and the decision was out of their hands."

 

Seems that this country is being failed by its officials time and time again.

[Paul Kennedy]

Daily Mail:

 

"A man who built a home-made boat in his back garden over five years was left scratching his head after discovering he'd made it too big for him to get it out.

 

 

Trained engineer, John Melling, started building the 30-feet Trimaran yacht at the bottom of his back garden five years ago - but it has now outgrown its home and is proving a problem to move.

 

Mr Melling, who works as a financial adviser, has completed the sleek vessel, which is 26 feet wide, and has grown so big that it has become wedged behind the fence at his home in Tywardreath in Cornwall."

[Paul Kennedy]

Times:

 

"Taxpayers have footed a ?1 million compensation bill after almost 200 drug-addicted prisoners sued the Government, claiming that denying them a heroin substitute breached their human rights.

 

The prisoners claimed that their rights were infringed when they were deprived of methadone and had to go ?cold turkey?.

 

A High Court test case involving six prisoners was going ahead two years ago but the Government agreed to settle out of court and pay ?750,000 to 197 inmates in jails in England and Wales.

 

The compensation payments averaged ?3,807 per prisoner, with four in Wymott jail in Lancashire receiving a total of ?15,228 and three at Preston prison ?11,421.

 

The overall bill to the taxpayer of ?1 million includes the compensation payments plus the estimated lawyers? fees.

 

The Government decided against fighting the compensation claims to minimise costs. It had been warned that if the case had gone to court the prisoners could have won even larger amounts of compensation.

 

The prisoners had been using methadone paid for by the Government but it was decided that they should go through cold turkey detoxification instead. They claimed that their human rights had been breached under Articles 3 and 14 of the European Convention on Human Rights, which bans discrimination, or inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment."

 

 

But haven't these prisoners degraded themselves by being drug addicts......and will they have to refund the money if they return to being drug addicts. Why should they be given any substitute at all when they are in prison.

[observer]

Surprised they need a "substitute", when they can get the real thing?! Good old Yuman Rights - talk about Government being hoisted by it's own petards!