Jump to content

Recommended Posts

  • 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do walk beside me either. Just leave me alone!
  • 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.
  • 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  • 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
  • 5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • 7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • 9. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
  • 10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • 11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  • 12. If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  • 13. Don't squat with your spurs on.
  • 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
  • 15. If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
  • 16. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  • 17. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
  • 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  • 19. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  • 20. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  • 21. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
  • 22. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
  • 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...