Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
asperity

Some thoughts

Recommended Posts

asperity    266
Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
 
Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
 
Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty. True!
 
Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
 
If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to
each of them.
 
Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.
 
Anybody have any thoughts like this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Evil Sid    227

Oh all the time. Usually along the lines of how do vampires shave if they can't see their reflection in a mirror or the invisible man must always be naked if you can't see him. (sory dizz if it starts you off again).

One that always intrigues me is what is the speed of dark, it must be faster than 186.282 miles per second because it always gets there before light does.

odd are the thoughts that occur at two in the morning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
asperity    266

Who let the dogs out?

Why do eggs come packaged in a flimsy paper container, but new scissors come packaged in thick plastic you need scissors to open?

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bazj    493
On 7/21/2017 at 7:23 AM, Evil Sid said:

Oh all the time. Usually along the lines of how do vampires shave if they can't see their reflection in a mirror or the invisible man must always be naked if you can't see him. (sory dizz if it starts you off again).

One that always intrigues me is what is the speed of dark, it must be faster than 186.282 miles per second because it always gets there before light does.

odd are the thoughts that occur at two in the morning.

I never use a mirror to shave.... am I a vampire?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dizzy    293
On 21/07/2017 at 7:23 AM, Evil Sid said:

Oh all the time. Usually along the lines of how do vampires shave if they can't see their reflection in a mirror or the invisible man must always be naked if you can't see him. (sory dizz if it starts you off again).

AARGH !!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dizzy    293

One that is often in the forefront of my mind and really bugs me is ......Where does the universe end? 
It surely has to end somewhere and can't go on to infinity (an beyond as Buzz Lightyear said)...as surely everything has to end somewhere.
But if it does end somewhere then even if there's nothing on the other side of that 'point'..nothingness is still something.

Gawd..... I really don't like this topic as now I'm pondering over all your comments too and they will drive me even more mad :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
asperity    266

Douglas Adams described it in "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe". It's like the Big Bang only opposite - if you see what I mean :ph34r:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Evil Sid    227

According to the Wen the eternally surprised the universe ends and is recreated constantly, which is why he was called the eternally surprised since he maintained that everything he saw he saw for the first time. "The past is but a memory and memory is in the head so was yesterday real or is it just the memory that is real" is one of his first teachings to his apprentice Clodpool,

scientist will tell you that it is down to entropy. If you can work out the rate of entropy then you can get a reasonable estimation of when the universe will end, give or take a few billion centuries.

For a realistic idea of the end of the universe, For each individual it will be the day that their life functions cease. at that time for that individual the universe will have ended.

For those of the religious persuasion then that depends on their particular deities teachings.

So if you want to know it will end on a wet Wednesday in august at around 3.38 pm local time. it is just the year that is in doubt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
asperity    266

If you attempt to rob a bank you won't have any trouble with

rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.

 

What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like
throwing it?

 

If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

 

Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

 

The letter W, in English, is called double U. Shouldn't it be called
double V?

 

Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to
fully work.

 

The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".

 

Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard

as trying to win.

 

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

 

Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

 

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

 

The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in

1953 are probably dead.

 

If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the

answer to each of them.

 

Many animals probably need spectacles, but nobody knows it.

 

If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it

than there were before.

 

If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we'll just call it "2's Day".

(Save this until 2022 – because it does fall on a Tuesday!!)

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Evil Sid    227

What if the hokey-cokey IS what it's all about?

If an insomniac caught sleeping sickness would they be ill or cured?

If you do the same task half heartedly twice would it done wholeheartedly or quarter heartedly.?

Why does harry potter use magic to fix his glasses but not to fix his eyesight?

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Evil Sid    227

If a woman underwent the op to change into a man but then carried on wearing women's clothing would they be considered to be a transvestite or not?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
asperity    266

 ~ Betsy Salkind... 
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. 

~ Jean Kerr...
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. 
 
  ~ Prince Philip... 
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
 
  ~ Harrison Ford... 
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. 
 
   ~ Spike Milligan... 
The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree. 
 
  ~ Jean Rostand... 
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror. 
 
  ~  Arnold Schwarzenegger... 
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. 
 
  ~ WH Auden... 
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. 
 
  ~ Jonathan Katz... 
In hotel rooms, I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. 
 
  ~ Johnny Carson... 
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.  
  ~ Steve Martin... 
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. 
 
  ~ Jimmy Durante... 
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. 


.   ~ George Roberts. 
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. 
 
  ~ Jonathan Winters... 
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.  


  ~ Robert Benchley...
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
 

  ~ John Glenn... 
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. 
 
  ~ David Letterman... 
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. 
 
  ~ Howard Hughes... 
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I'm a billionaire. 
 
   ~ Old Italian proverb.. 
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
algy    298

Bloody Hell !!!! I have missed all this by staying away or was that what caused me to stay away, God! my head hurts.:wacko:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dizzy    293
On 07/09/2017 at 1:25 PM, algy said:

Bloody Hell !!!! I have missed all this by staying away or was that what caused me to stay away, God! my head hurts.:wacko:

:lol::lol: Come on admit it Algy...you really do love it on here even though it all sometimes stresses you out :wink:
I've missed you....and I'm sort of glad your head hurts too ha ha.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×