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Lt Kije

Definitions Not in the Dictionary

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Definitions Not in the Dictionary

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOUR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

And MY Personal Favourite:

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. I have character lines.

 

 

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What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.  (puts on helmet before Diz reads)

 

 

 

The definition of irony

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words. :wacko:

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Denial- a river found in Egypt

Depend- opposite the shallow end

Dispersil- a lack of respect for a well known washing powder

Magistrate- Madge isn't a lesbion

Miasma- the reason I have an inhaler

Minister- only moving the teaspoon slightly

Rambling- tacky jewellery for male sheep

Rampart- any other bit of a male sheep.......

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Ransack- the reason for being disqualified in the sack race.

Artifact- piece of trivia about paintings.

Adamant- the very first ant.

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Octopus - A cat with eight legs

Biology - The scientific study of the number two

Bacteria - The back door of a cafeteria.

Flatulence - Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller

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Carnation- Country where each citizen owns an automobile

 

Liquor-How a male animal cleans his mate

 

Afterdraft-Life following conscription

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Muslim - Cloth used in cheese making (OK! so I can't spell).

 

Salvation Army Jacket - A coat of alms.

 

Generally - An Arab general

 

Joan of Arc - Noahs mum.

 

Willy-nilly - Impotent.
 

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:lol:  :lol:  :lol: I particularly like the buttock one :lol:

 

I can't think of any so I'll just carry on enjoying everyone elses :) 

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:lol:  :lol:

 

ADULT:  A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

 

FATHER:  A banker provided by nature.

 

POLYGON:  A dead parrot.

 

RELIEF : What trees do in the spring.

 

Ok so I tried (eek have any of those already been on... if so shame on you are they are naff :lol: )

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Fortune:- any music written for a quartet

 

Super market:- where Clark Kent buy's his suits

 

Campanology :- the study of Julian Clary

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Document? .......What did you mean Doctor?

Dreadlocks.......Fear of canal holidays.

Ductile..........The cry of an incompetant roofer.

Juniper?.....Did you bite that woman?

Satin.....Something that happens to chairs.

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Is it inaccurate to say that whenever Clio and Algy go on their holidays nobody is interested in this topic on WW?

I think this is "important" - (buy an ant from abroad) and "ignorant"--(to totally disregard an ant), perhaps they are spending their holidays "intense" but I am not keen on camping. (Tents...ok). Glastonbury seems to be "intensity" (In tents city), please keep up! So what is the alternative definition of the third word in this post?

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 So what is the alternative definition of the third word in this post?

 

Inaccurate ?  No way am I going down the religious sounding tease/joke route that came to my mind RC.  Nice try though :P  :lol:

 

PS Is Algy on holidays then?  When did he go as I'm waiting for a reply from him on something from yesterday.  I'm sure he doesn't drive a Clio though as they are more for boy racers and newly qualified drivers (depending on model of course)

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Inaccurate ?  No way am I going down the religious sounding tease/joke route that came to my mind RC.  Nice try though :P  :lol:

 

PS Is Algy on holidays then?  When did he go as I'm waiting for a reply from him on something from yesterday.  I'm sure he doesn't drive a Clio though as they are more for boy racers and newly qualified drivers (depending on model of course)

Dizz, I sent you a reply last night the problem is I can't remember whether I emailed you or sent you a PM. or both, anyway I'm awaiting the landing of the educated, religous carrier pigeon to arrive with the coded information. Please send as soon as possible. :wink:

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I've not had a reply from you since I asked about your email address Algy... I've not got an email either and you are not in my spam box.

 

The carrier pigeon has had the coded info in it's beak and has been flapping it's wings since last night but couldn't  take off until it was sure it was heading in the right direction and not to an old address (which may now be inhabited by spies or loft elves).

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